Unhinged
by Jen1978
Summary: Sequel to the "Balance". Things are shifting again and new enemies approach. It is the last stand and it is to the death.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

Previously on "Balanced":

The nightmare began with hallucinations of dark and bright spots in the corner of his eye, but things quickly escalated for Dean. Soon he was having violent headaches and his friends thought he was going crazy; that he was losing his mind. It all seemed to be a lost cause and Seth with Roman didn't know what to do.

The arrival of Matt Hardy however explained everything. He explained that Dean is the guardian of the Balance, a cosmic force between two worlds, of magic and science; a force that holds everything in place, glued together and without it both worlds would be destroyed. There is one catch however.

A guardian must remain in place for one thousand years, lost to both worlds, lost to everyone he has even known.

And there was one more little problem.

Bray Wyatt.

Separated from his love, Abigail, some 12 thousand years ago, his soul jumping from body to body, with the last traces of magic, he wanted to capture, kill Dean, and hopefully assume his place as guardian, destroy the world of technology and be reunited with her.

But he failed.

Matt Hardy sacrificed himself to give them time to reach the Tower of the Balance and with the valuable help of Roman and Seth, Dean became the guardian but not before Roman confessed his long buried love for him. And it is with this heavy feeling of unfulfilled love, they were separated. Dean climbed to the Tower and Roman was left behind empty and heartbroken, with no one but Seth knowing the truth about what happened.

. . .

Welcome back to this pitch black, vast place I call my mind.

There was something that bothered me; the way things were left in the "Balance" story. All characters simply hurt too much by the end. And I couldn't get that out of my head. I didn't like the thought of them suffering for eternity. So I tried to think of a way to atone myself and bring some closure. Write a story that has a happy ending…

Maybe. We'll see as it unfolds.

So here it is.

As always.

Close the door behind you and turn off the lights.

Are you ready?

Let's begin.

. . .

3 YEARS LATER

There were not many things that gave him hope or made him smile these last few years. He felt empty and alone. And it was all his fault. Everything he did felt mechanical; wake up, go to the gym, go to work, eat, sleep…

And he felt completely alone.

Roman Reigns lived alone. It hadn't taken him long to get a divorce after losing Dean to the balance. The separation was amicable. Of course he hadn't told his wife the truth, the reason behind it but she could see he was a different man; that he was unhappy. After Dean's 'disappearance', there was no turning back for him. He could no longer lie to himself and to his family. They deserved better.

Disappearance…

That is what they had told the police. That day, when they had left the arena, all three Shield members together, they said that they had slept at a motel; that they had woken up the next day with Dean missing… gone, without a trace. They had told the police that they had spent a full day looking for him and that's why they hadn't called the police sooner.

The investigation was long and the case had gone very public. The company really wanted to find him and had gone to great lengths, even hiring a private investigator but to no end. Despite the endless hours of him and Seth being interrogated, the case had gone cold.

And it was so hard coming to terms with it. Roman had no one to turn to but Seth. But after a while, he had stopped talking to him about Dean. This was his burden to bear. And so he had built a wall around him, becoming a shadow of his former self. And it took everything he had to keep pretending; to keep fooling the fans, the company and his friends; that he was fine; that he, like everyone else, believed that Dean would someday come home.

But Seth knew better. He could see his friend withdrawing, building those huge, impenetrable walls around him and there was nothing he could do about it. At first he had thought that Roman needed some time alone and gave him the space he wanted.

And that had been a terrible mistake.

Now Roman might as well be a million miles away. Seth was the only one not fooled by his pretending. Sometimes their eyes would meet in the locker rooms or in the gym or the arenas and he would instanlty feel his broken heart; see the hurt in his eyes.

Seth hurt too. He had lost a dear friend; a brother. But Roman… he had lost much more. No one had spoken about his feelings since that night with Matt Hardy.

Matt Hardy.

That was another thing.

They were not part of that investigation because no one else knew he had been with them when he had died.

And they were not involved with the case surrounding the disappearance of Bray Wyatt.

The whole thing was a mess. Three wrestlers had gone missing, vanished at the same time! It was unheard of. The police had figured that all three cases might be connected by they couldn't prove anything. There was no evidence, substantial or circumstantial. The lack of clues had sparked many speculations and wild theories but none came close to the truth.

That Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt were dead.

That Dean might as well be dead; that he was the guardian of the balance between two worlds; that would stay like this for one thousand years.

One thousand years!

Until everything and everyone he had ever known would be long gone and forgotten; until the world was such a different place…a different planet almost.

No wonder every descending guardian ended up crazy or dead!

That train of thought always led to sorrow and guilt. And those were sickly and morbid feelings.

. . .

Roman was finishing packing his bag in the arena's locker room when Seth entered. He stopped by the door and looked at him. They were alone. He rested his shoulder on a locker door and kept looking at his friend.

"What?" Roman asked not really aggressively.

"How long?"

"Excuse me?" the aggression raising.

"I'm asking you how long are you going to keep this up? It's been three years"

"What's your point?" he asked stuffing his duffel bag faster.

"My point is he wouldn't have wanted you to be like this; sulking, sad and guilty. He even told you so"

Roman sat down. He didn't have the strength to argue anymore. He felt so tired all the time, like all life had been sucked out of him.

"I can't help it. At first I felt angry with him… for making me have all these feelings; for making me care and then disappearing. It has taken me a while but I finally realized I was angry with myself. I was the one in denial during all those years. I was the one who destroyed my life and my family… not Dean"

"No one is to blame. What happened wasn't our fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. As far as your family goes, I think it's better late than never. It would have been worse if you'd kept lying"

Seth sat beside him.

"Listen… I came to tell you… I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"I'm sorry for being distant. I thought you needed space and that's why I stopped talking to you, but I was wrong and I am truly sorry"

Roman kept his eyes ahead.

"There is nothing to be sorry about. We both needed the space to deal with it all. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Neither did you. There was nothing you could have done… and the truth is that by being there you probably saved his life"

"That's not the problem"

"Then what?"

"I just wish… we had more time; I wish I had been more honest with him and myself… so many regrets… I feel so alone and so lost… and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to keep going… keep living like this."

There were no tears. He had cried all of them a long time ago.

"You don't have to feel alone. I'm your friend and I'm here. It has taken me a while, but I'm here… and I hope I'm not too late"

Roman looked at him with a sad smile.

"No… I don't think you are too late."

Seth smiled bitterly.

"I miss him too"

Their conversation was cut short as a few other wrestlers entered the locker room. Both friends stayed in silence for a while and after having gathered their gear, exited the arena together.

"Wanna grab a beer? It's been a while" Seth offered.

"Sure… you drive"

. . .

The bar they found was a few miles away from the arena. They didn't want to be close to where the fans might be because they needed their privacy. They needed to be alone with each other.

They found two seats at the bar, at the farthest, darkest corner, unseen by prying eyes. They ordered two beers and sat in silence, looking at some football game that was being broadcasted on the TV.

They talked about their past and upcoming matches, storylines and pay per views and had a few laughs, but after a while they fell silent again.

It was Seth that broke that silence.

"Did the police call you?"

"No…did they call you?" Roman was genuinely surprised.

"Yeah…about a month ago"

"About what?"

"Matt Hardy"

"Are you're telling me now?" Roman raised his eyebrow, genuinely surprised.

"It was nothing important. They said they were verifying and cross referencing some facts from the case and that I was one of the last people to have seen him alive"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Oddly enough his last match was with me. I might have been the last man to see him alive in the locker room."

Roman raised an eyebrow.

"And?"

"And nothing. They asked me if he had been acting strangely; if he'd been, you know, weird or strange"

"What did you tell them?"

"If they could see my face, they would have known I was lying… I felt everything crashing down on me; I felt lightheaded, my knees were weak… but I got it together and told them the same lie I had told them three years ago"

Roman looked ahead at the TV and the large wide mirror below that reflected the negative of the street behind them.

"It's weird" he said. "Why now?"

"I don't know…maybe a new detective?" Seth suggested.

"I don't know either. It feels strange. Dean has been missing for three years now and after the initial investigation and the interrogations, nobody has talked to us since… my point being, something is wrong. And why talk to you over the phone?"

He took a sip from his beer and looked at the mirror again.

It felt weird too.

"Maybe because I'm not home often"

"Maybe" he said thoughtfully. "Has anyone talked to you about Bray?"

"No… never… that's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah… as far as I know, nobody has talked to the police about him. Come to think of it, it seems as if no one is taking his disappearance seriously. You'd think the fans would react… more. Three favorite wrestlers missing and the police don't care about Bray?"

Seth simply nodded and Roman continued his thought.

"They were talking to us about Dean for hours! They investigated everything, even processed our stuff… all I'm saying is that this underwhelming Bray investigation is strange."

"Maybe Dean had something to do with it" He looked at the Samoan. "Well, think about it… if Dean is the guardian, and this guardian means he is some sort of conduit for the balance, then maybe this is his way of balancing things, equaling them out. I mean, what do we really know about Wyatt? We know nothing of his past. If the police dug deeper, who knows what they would have found? Maybe that would have led them to us and Matt. Maybe, this is the balance's way of protecting us, the guardian and itself"

"Even if it is so… we should keep our eyes open… be careful"

"You feel it too, don't you?"

Roman nodded.

"Something is shifting…" Seth added "Changing… what do you think it is?"

"I don't know… all I know is the last few days, all I can think of is Dean… but I feel different… I still feel alone and sad and guilty, but I also feel like I am changing… like I'm about to take the leap from a really tall ladder or a cage and I don't know how I will land… if I'll survive"

"I know…"

"And it's a new feeling… one I didn't have before."

"You feel anxious… stressed… like your heart is about to burst" he looked at the Samoan with understanding. And Roman looked back nodding. He took a sip from his beer and looked at the mirror.

Why did this mirror bother him so much?

What was it about it?

The rest of the bar was empty since it was getting late and tomorrow was a working day. The bartender was at the other side of the bench, cleaning up and getting ready for closing time. Roman looked at the TV and then back at the mirror.

He didn't realize all sound had vanished; that he couldn't hear Seth talking right next to him anymore… all he could do is look in that mirror and it felt like it was pulling him in.

Then he saw it… in the corner, a small ripple formed, one that looked like he had just thrown a pebble in a lake. That single, circular ripple started to grow and gradually travel from one corner to the other. The mirror glass looked like mercury, distorting everything he could see in it.

He felt his breath stop in his throat and he clenched his beer bottle tighter. He could feel Seth's eyes on him and he knew he was talking to him, but he couldn't hear any of the words. It was as if all sound was gone and he was living in a void. He had a vague sensation of Seth's hand on his shoulder shaking him, but he was numb. He didn't know if he was shaking or if he was sitting still… he knew however that the mirror was trying to show him something.

That ripple had started from the left corner and had ended up on the right one. And there, that ripple became smaller and smaller. But before it vanished, it zoomed on a face staring at them from outside.

A familiar face. One he didn't think he would ever see again.

"Dean" was all his breath allowed his to say.

"What?" Seth asked surprised, having heard the name and turned around.

Roman snapped out of his trance as soon as the rippled vanished and immediately he felt like he could breathe again. He turned around and looked outside, to the street.

But it was empty.

Breathing fast, anxious and afraid, he left Seth and ran outside.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

Hurriedly Seth left some money on the bar and followed his friend outside. He caught up with Roman a few feet away from the bar's entrance, frantically looking around, his face white like he had just seen a ghost.

"What is it? Who did you see?" he asked just to make sure he had heard Roman say Dean's name.

Roman kept looking around but there was no one there. It was late and they were alone on the city street. A few lights cast a yellow glow on everything, making the scene feel like a dream… or a nightmare.

"It was him… I saw him… through the mirror…. He was looking at me…"

"Who? Dean?"

"Yes!" Roman took a few steps down the street.

"That is not possible and you know that" Seth tried to snap him out of it. He was worried about his friend; afraid that his mind had finally snapped, not able to cope with this ongoing situation.

"I swear I saw him" he said and looked at Seth. "I swear"

"That is not possible and you know it"

"He was looking at me. I saw him through the mirror… it rippled… and then I saw him… he was… lost and afraid…but he was right there… looking right into my eyes…"

Seth looked around. They were hopelessly alone.

"There is no one here… come on man… let's go" He grabbed Roman's arm and pulled it slightly just to wake him from this irrational trance he was in but he just kept looking around.

"I swear…" he mumbled but the street was empty.

"Come on, let's go… you are tired… Dean is not here… he is gone"

"Don't say that" Roman snapped at him and looked into his eyes almost angry "I know what I saw… I'm not crazy…"

"I didn't say you were… but you know what happened and you know we're not going to see him again…"

Roman's eyes softened and he finally was able to put his breathing under control. He passed his fingers through his hair and exhaled.

"You… you're right…"

"Let's go. We are both exhausted. We'll figure it out in the morning" and pulled his arm gently a second time.

This time Roman didn't resist. He followed his friend to the car. Before making the turn and letting the street behind them, he took one last look.

Still empty.

Like his heart.

Empty, sad and lonely.

How he wished it were true. Maybe he was finally losing his mind and maybe it was for the best.

But he had seen him and he looks so real. He just couldn't help thinking how scared and lost he looked. Maybe it was his heart finally breaking; making him see things he had wished were true for so long. He bowed his head and followed Seth feeling sadder and lonelier than ever before.

. . .

So hear me now  
This weakened voicing  
Listen one last time  
It is dying  
Here at the end I am  
Watching closely  
Afraid to see you  
Afraid to be

So here it is again  
This loneliness of mine  
I can't seem to find you  
I don't believe you're there  
Is this your hand?  
Is this the turning?  
I need to say I lost you  
I need to say goodbye

And save me from this blinding night  
Of nothing  
Save me from the dying  
Save me from my god  
Choose to find salvation in the sorrow  
I hope to see you laughing  
Laughing at the end

So here it is again  
This loneliness of mine  
I can't seem to find you  
I don't believe you're there  
Is this your hand?  
Is this the turning?  
I need to say I lost you  
I need to say goodbye

I'm standing here in line  
Hoping to see  
My dreams are intertwined  
I'm here by your side  
So here it is with me  
This old friend of mine  
I'm trying to break free  
I'm here by your side

So here it is again  
This loneliness of mine  
I can't seem to find you  
I don't believe you're there  
Is this your hand?  
Is this the turning?  
I need to say I lost you  
I need to say goodbye

-Mercenary: Isolation (The Loneliness in December)-


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

One of the last things he remembered was climbing the stairwell towards the bright light. He remembered leaving Seth behind and he certainly remembered leaving Roman. He could recall every detail of his face; his eyes; the expression in them as they were saying goodbye.

He remembered how sad he felt; like knife through his heart. It had taken Roman a lot to finally realize how he felt for Dean and now that he had everything he had ever wanted, he had to give it all up and become the guardian.

He had to admit to himself, he didn't want it; never wanted any of it. He was happy just being his friend; being close to him… and he felt cheated; by the balance…

But it was pulling him and he couldn't resist; couldn't step back. He realized how much were at stake. The fates of two worlds and millions of people were in his hands. And he realized that if he didn't do it, no one else would. And if it meant that everyone he had ever loved would be safe, then it was worth the sacrifice.

As he took the last steps, reached the top of the stairwell. That light was bright and cold, but at this point he didn't feel anything. He simply knew he had to step up and take his place.

He took the last step and positioned himself. Immediately, the light changed from bright and cold, to all the colors of the rainbow, dancing around him, twitching and twirling, like tongues of flames enveloping him.

They hovered for a few seconds around him, almost measuring him, not exactly sure if they would accept him as the guardian. But Dean closed his eyes and sadly whispered.

"I am ready"

With a load roar, the colorful lights around him formed a twister that seemed to grow exponentially. It as the circled around him, Dean felt pain. He knew that pain. He felt it in every inch of his body and he felt it inside him, filling him, consuming him; squeezing his mind and tightening his heart, making him lose his breath.

He screamed and fell to his knees grabbing his head. The voices were there, those he had been hearing all his life, but his time they were amplified; voices that yelled and begged and laughed and cried; voices of the damned and lost souls; voices of the dead that looked at him for salvation.

He couldn't tell how long he had been screaming.

The very last thing he remembered was the light passing through him, taking his voice away, his eyes and his pain.

Then nothing.

Dean couldn't feel anything anymore, and he would be thankful if only the balance hadn't done its work and separated his mind from his body. Matt Hardy had told them about that.

Dean couldn't see his own body being lifted up in the air, hovering between the two worlds channeling the cosmic force of the balance. He couldn't see his arms stretch out, palms facing forward, small lines of energy flowing through them. He couldn't see his face looking up and he didn't realize his eyes were open but his pupils were gone, replaced by a dark red color.

Slowly the violent twirling of the colors stopped and the flames subsided, coming to a harmonic flowing movement around him.

. . .

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes again was stars. The night sky above him was so clear and every star was defined. He stayed a few moments marveling at the vastness of the universe but when he tried to move, searing pain traveled from his spine to his head. And it was so immense he found that he couldn't even scream. Instead he curled to a fetal position and held his head trying to will the pain away.

He realized he was lying on grass and that he was somewhere away from civilization.

He couldn't hear any sounds of cars or people but he could certainly feel the grass under him. The smell of the earth filled his nostrils and the sounds of the nocturnal animals traveled to his ears.

He stayed curled up for a long time, cradling his own body for comfort. Slowly the pain subsided but didn't go away completely but just enough he could untangle himself and sit up.

He looked around. Everything around him was illuminated by the moon up in the night sky. It wasn't a full moon, but it was bright enough. Fireflies danced around him and somewhere in the distance, an owl was hooting. The grass was wet from the humidity and a cold breeze traveled on the surface of the ground, reaching him and sending shivers up is spine.

Ignoring the headache, he got to his feet but quickly regretted it. Dizziness enveloped him and fell again to his knees, this time vomiting violently.

Then he passed out again.

. . .

The second time he opened his eyes, it was still nighttime. The moon had moved further down the sky but it was still clear. The pain was still there, but it had subsided substantially. This time he was able to stand up without puking.

He took a deep breath and started walking, his steps echoing among the grass. He didn't know where he was going; all he knew was he had to leave this place. It felt like it didn't want him there; that every second he spent in there, it was making him physically ill.

He took a few steps and once he realized he wouldn't fall down, he started to walk tentatively.

In the beginning, he thought it was the sound of the wind that caressed the grass and the vegetation around him, making it sound like the softest whisper. He didn't pay much attention to it.

Maybe it was his ears that were ringing from the headache.

But as he kept walking, the whispers around him became louder and louder and soon he realized it wasn't the wind he was hearing. They sounded like voices being carried by the wind from far away.

He didn't walk for long. He felt tired and sat under a tree, to sleep off the tiredness, the hunger and the thirst he felt. Maybe the voices were there because he was too tired.

Closing his eyes he let his head touch the tree bark, but despite his fatigue, sleep eluded him.

Then the voices got a little bit closer; a little bit louder.

Somewhere in the distance he heard the unmistakable howling of a wolf and something inside him stirred. His eyes flew open and looked wildly into the darkness of the night. Frantically he looked around, half expecting the wolf to be staring at him.

He got to his feet and started running, trying to escape that terrible howling that had somehow become one with the voices around him. They blended together and in his head, they felt like fingernails scratching his brain and scrambling all his thoughts.

Running in the field, in the night, with no light but the one cast by the moon, proved to be difficult; especially during the moments where clouds hid his only source of light and the darkness became deeper.

With every step his legs became heavier and they seemed to stick deeper and deeper into the muddy ground. His breath soon became short and loud. But the voices were even louder, and now they were coming from the center of his own mind, spreading like rotten roots, poisoning everything in their touch.

And how they screamed! How they cried!

The voiced were lamenting; others were in pain; and other, they were angry… so angry.

And they had such a tight grip on him.

He was certain the voices had somehow taken physical form. They felt so real… almost tangible… because he could feel them on his skin, crawling like cockroaches, scratching him. And he tried to chase them away, waving his arms around him, rubbing violently his arms and his cheeks; he could feel them on his back, snaking around his torso.

And they were so loud!

Dean couldn't take it anymore. He fell to his knees and covered his ears; but it didn't work. He was still in pain… so much pain. He fell to his side and brought his legs to his chest.

He screamed, he was sure of it, but those damned voices covered his own. And they became so loud and so angry that they seemed to erase everything around him. It felt like only those voices existed and nothing else.

. . .

Two lights shone ahead as four wheels rolled splashing on the wet asphalt.

It had started to rain some ten minutes ago. It wasn't a thunderstorm, but an annoying drizzle.

It was very early in the morning and two patrol men were finishing their graveyard shift, and were returning to the sheriff's office. Their county was not a small one, but it wasn't a really big one either. They had their fair share of crime but it had been a while since the last major incident, and the deputies had relaxed a little.

It was not daybreak but soon the sun would come up. Hopefully some sunshine would lift their spirits.

"Stop the car" the passenger yelled and the police car came to a halt.

Their blood ran cold.

"What is that?" the driver asked as both men looked ahead.

All they could see was a naked body in a fetal position, on the side of the road; a naked back glistening from the falling rain.

Reluctantly they exited the car and looked at each other. One stayed by the car, behind the opened door, gun drown and aimed at the unknown man. He might he fallen, but he might also be faking it. It wouldn't be the first time…

The other one carefully stepped closer.

The rain picked up pace. As he moved closer, he could see that the man's body was shaking.

"Sir?" the police man said but got no answer. "Sir… can you hear me?"

He slowly reached out his arm expecting the fallen man to magically transform into a dragon or something else equally exotic, but he didn't seem to be able to hear him. He wouldn't respond to his voice. He looked back at his partner to make sure he had his back.

What was it about this man? Why was he acting so cautiously? The police man was not a rookie. He had been doing this job for many years and he had the experience to realize that the man lying on the ground needed help. He just couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness and the alarms that had gone off in his mind as soon as he had seen him.

The hair on back of his neck stood up and a sense of danger filled him. He tried to be reasonable.

"Sir…" he asked again and his fingers touched the man's shoulder.

This was enough to turn the man on his back. He was completely naked and shaking. He had his eyes closed and his ears shut.

No wonder he couldn't hear him speaking.

And he was mumbling incoherently.

No matter how loud the police officer pleaded, the man wouldn't open his eyes or uncover his ears; he wouldn't stop shaking and he wouldn't stop whispering. Tentatively he touched his cheeks. They were on fire.

"Call an ambulance" he yelled at his young partner and took out his jacket to cover him.

The man didn't seem to register anything that was happening. His didn't appear to have any other serious wounds. He had no blood on him and any injury he had was probably from wondering out there for hours.

"Sir… please… can you hear me? Open your eyes… you are safe… help is on the way"

"I called the ambulance" his partner said as he came next to him. "A.T.A. is in 5 to 10 minutes"

He took a look at the man.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked.

"I don't know"

The senior officer opened his eyes to check his pupils and upon seeing them he fell back.

Where color should have been, all he could see was red. His pupils had taken a deep dark hue of red that reminded them of blood; and that color looked like it was seeping to the rest of his eye.

"What the fuck?" he said and stood up, scared of the man.

His young partner pulled him back.

"Step away from him… don't touch him…"

The officer upon hearing those words, looked at his hands.

As they were retreating, the fallen man screamed and arched his back against the ground, giving them a jump scare. Then he fell limp.

The rain had almost become a thunderstorm but still the police men daren't move. They were still one close to the other, eyes always looking at the man.

"You… you think he's dead?" the young one asked and his partner simply nodded 'no'.

"Go check" he told the senior officer and nudged him with his shoulder.

"Fuck that… I'm not going anywhere near him"

"We can't leave him like that… can we?"

Neither wanted to go near him, but they did. Carefully and slowly they approached, taking courage from the fact that the man was no moving or mumbling any more.

"Can you see his face" the young one asked.

"No"

They reached him. His face had turned to the left, away from them. But his eyes were still open.

Wide open.

Scared and shaking, they looked at his face. The red eyes were gone, replaced by blue, normal ones. But they were empty. They were looking vaguely into the darkness beyond. The driver thought that this man looked catatonic. He had seen one many years ago, so he knew.

"What's wrong with him" his young partner asked.

"I think he is in shock. We have to move him; this rain in becoming a storm… we have to get him off the asphalt"

"And take him where? The ambulance should be here any minute"

"We can't wait for them… come on" he said and took a step closer, kneeling at the head of the man. "We must take him to the car and wait there"

The young officer hesitated but followed his partner's lead. He grabbed the man by the legs and started carrying him.

"He's so heavy" he said huffing from the effort.

Thunder and lightning came together meaning that the storm was right above them and for a few seconds it illuminated everything near them.

"Oh my God!" the older officer yelled almost dropping the man to the ground.

There in the distance, not ten feet from where they had picked up the unknown man and unseen until the lightning shone, was a pack of wolves, starring at them, growling. Their eyes angry and hateful, bore holes into the two men, as if they had stolen their food. They kept their heads low and their ears folded, baring sharp teeth as the hair on their backs stood up menacingly.

And it was for a few moments. As soon as the light from the lightning was gone, they were invisible again, but the experienced police man knew that they were still there, and they had to hurry and get to the car.

"What?" the young one asked.

He hadn't seen them thankfully or he would have run away screaming.

"Nothing…keep going"

They reached the car and placed the man in the back seat. The older man entered but the other one didn't.

"I'm not getting in the car with him"

"Damn it Bryce… get in the fucking car" he ordered. "It's not safe out there"

Hesitantly, he did and as soon as he closed the door, the police veteran took out his flashlight and shone it where they had picked up the man. Then he moved the beam to the left.

They were still there. Unmoving and more menacing than before.

"Shit!" Bryce exclaimed. "Are these wolves?"

"Yeah"

"But there are no wolves around here…"

"I am fifty five years old… and I have never seen a wolf anywhere near here…"

"So what are they doing here?"

"I don't know…"

"What do they want?"

"I don't know!" he almost yelled.

At that moment, the wolves moved and together, in perfect synchronization, they stepped forward and started walking towards the police car. Leading them was a pitch black wolf, larger than they had ever imagined they actually looked like. It came to a halt not five feet from the hood and after licking its mouth, it started growling, showing two rows of sharp teeth, bathed in blood and flesh.

"Holy shit!" Bryce yelled and his partner started the car and putting in the reverse gear, drove out of that place.

One last look in the rear view mirror and he saw the wolves simply standing there.

"Call dispatch" he ordered Bryce. "Tell them we'll be taking him the hospital ourselves"

And Bryce with shaking hands did as he was told.

. . .

I must leave from fear they send  
Journey with the dawn  
As I take the winding road  
Bow my head forlorn  
Now I must go

I'm banished in exile  
I wander this land  
No faith in the future  
I'm in their command

Cross over the mountains  
And valleys so wide  
I walk as I wonder  
With hope by my side

All my friends are far away  
How I miss my home  
Where do I find peace of mind  
Guide me as I roam  
I cry for you

I'm banished in exile  
To meet their demand  
Rejected messiah  
They don't understand

I'm searching for something  
That's lost in my heart  
God knows I'm a sinner  
I'm falling apart

If this is my destiny  
I've got to believe  
The passion inside me  
Has left me to bleed

I'm banished in exile  
I wander this land  
No faith in the future  
I'm in their command

Cross over the mountains  
And valleys so wide  
I walk as I wonder  
With hope by my side

If this is my destiny  
I've got to believe  
This passion inside of me  
Has left me to bleed

-Judas Priest: Exiled-


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a bed. It wasn't particularly soft or comfortable but at least he was not feeling cold any more. The smell was familiar though. The unmistakable stench of a hospital.

He had no idea how long he had been in there, but he knew he had to get out. He was terrified of being out there again, but there was something calling him, almost pleading him to go out there and find it. He just didn't know what it was. A voice in his head told him that he could not stay there; that it wasn't safe for him being in that place. A sense of fight or flight was always present in his heart and he didn't know why.

And he would have run away from the hospital the moment he had woken up. However there were two little problems with that.

One was the doctor who was talking to him at this moment, and Dean had no idea what he was rambling on about.

And two, he had no memory whatsoever before opening his eyes in that field. And he had been so terrified of that. He felt so lost and alone that all he could do was look at the window at the world outside and ignore the doctor behind him.

"You have no physical trauma; we couldn't find anything that would explain the condition in which you were found…"

The doctor paused as his words didn't seem to be registered by his patient.

"You have to talk to me. I can't help you otherwise… at least tell me your name so I can call your family."

But no answer came. Dean kept ignoring the man. He wished he had the answer. He wished he knew his own name. He wished he could recognize his own face. But everything was a blank. So he kept quiet. And he kept ignoring the doctor.

"You realize, you give me no choice but to call the psychiatrist for evaluation. If you don't talk to him, then I'm afraid he'll have you transferred to the psychiatric ward."

With that the doctor left, and closing the door behind him, missed the furious look on Dean's face at the threat of the crazy doctor. He sat for a few minutes, then stood up and walked to the window. It was almost night. The doctor had told him he had been brought in the hospital early that same morning, so he hadn't lost much time.

The sun was setting behind the hospital, bathing it in shadows. Dean looked at his face in the mirror. A stranger looked back at him.

"Who are you?" he asked half expecting his reflection to answer. His fingers touched his face.

"Do you have a name?"

And this was the real reason for his silence. They were asking him questions to which he didn't have the answers to. All he knew was he had to get out of that place, and immediately. And he tried to hold onto that feeling because it was all he had left; it was giving him a purpose.

He looked outside as the shadows grew and night came swiftly, and with it the sense of danger. There had to be someone out there who knew him…

'I can't be all alone… someone knows me out there' he thought.

'I can't be alone' he shivered.

Neither caring about wearing a hospital gown nor waiting for the sun to rise, he walked to the door and turned the knob. He peeked outside and upon seeing no one, he ran silently to the one door that led him to the stairs. He made it through just as an orderly was turning around the corner.

Hurriedly he started climbing down the stairs, not really having an idea where he was actually going. Easily and quickly enough, he reached the ground floor but didn't exit there. Instead he continued down another three levels, till he reached the garage.

The sun had completely set and it was dark in those grey dirty walls. He slowly opened the door that led him to the garage and took a peek. There was no one there either. Visiting hours were over and between shifts, it was pretty deserted.

Keeping his back to the wall he started walking, with eyes sometimes ahead and sometimes checking his back. He had made some progress and he could feel fresh air coming to him from somewhere near.

Then he stopped dead on his tracks. The gurgling sound he was suddenly hearing was coming from behind him. He turned around and his breath was caught in his throat.

At arm's length, there was a man. He was tall with long black hair and a huge tattoo on his arm. Dean felt like he knew him. But then the man opened his mouth and blood came pouring out in big gulps. He reached out to Dean and let his head fall back, revealing a deep cut to his neck. Before he could ran, blood spattered from the man's wound to the walls and covered Dean's face. Then his hand grabbed his shoulder and dug his nails in his flesh. Dean would have screamed, but the noise that came out of that man's mouth resembled nails being scrapped against metal.

Dean didn't stay there. Terrified by the sudden appearance of the bleeding man, he took a step back and almost falling down, managed to find his step and started to run. He kept running, trying to put this demon behind him. He reached a corner when unwillingly he turned to look again at the man that had almost scared him to death.

But there was no one there.

It was as if he had never been there. There was no blood or any other sign of him.

And that was even scarier. He stood still, staring at the empty wall and then used his palm to wipe his face. He remembered it must be covered in blood.

Nothing.

Dean was trying to put his breath under control when he heard a door open and footsteps coming near him. Without a second breath, he turned his back and started running again. He heard a car coming down the ramp where he was headed, and not wanting to take any further risk, he ducked and hid under a cement recess, keeping his back firmly against the dirty wall. There was a parked car in front of that recess, so he figured he could stay there and catch his breath.

He held his head in his hands and his knees buckled and slid on the floor. He had no idea what he was doing and why. All he knew was that something was calling him out there, and he had to find what it was. He sensed that his life depended on it.

But the gurgling sound was heard again and it was right next to his left ear. He turned to face the source when a bloody hand grabbed his face and covered his mouth. The same bleeding man was right there with him so close he could touch him. The grip of his mouth tightened to the point of almost breaking his jaw. Dean's eyes watered as he tried to put his already uneven breath under control. Then the bleeding man screamed, a low throaty growl coming from within him and blood came out his mouth anew.

Dean pushed the man away with whatever strength he had left and started to run frantically, not really caring if anyone would see him. His stumbling run brought him to a door, which he opened with such force, he fell on the ground on the other side.

He found himself outside. The night sky was looking at him. That door had mercifully led him outside, and for a second he thought he would finally be able to breathe. But he couldn't. He was on the side of the hospital on a vast open space that looked like an empty parking lot reserved for the guests. He quickly got up and started running again to the back of the building.

A fence greeted him there; just one metal fence between the nightmares and his freedom. Without a second thought he climbed it and as he landed on the other side, he heard a soft pop on his left leg.

He screamed and held his knee. He didn't know the damage he had done to it and the adrenaline was pumping in his veins too much to let him sit there. He stood up and started hobbling away to the sound of police sirens echoing in the distance.

. . .

He had been wondering the city streets for hours, the pain in his knee growing as were the voices in his head.

They had come back like they had done back in that field he had woken up yesterday. He felt them in his head, scratching and clawing it, rendering him unable to think. The only thing he could do was run. And he did run, until his lungs gave out and he almost passed out.

He sat somewhere in the shadows, hidden in an alley in the middle of a city he didn't know. And it was a big city. Big building, loud noises, bright lights, too many shadows and even more demons.

The voices had become louder as he had approached the centre.

Dean hugged his legs in a last effort to keep himself warm. The clothes he had stolen were not enough as were not the shoes he had found dumped in a trash can. He stayed huddled in the far end of an alley trying to chase away the pain, the voices and the cold.

He found he could no longer control the shivers in his body or the volume of the voices in his head. They had become constant to the point of being unable to form coherent thoughts. And he felt consumed by their sorrow and their anger. The voices were accusing him of things he had no idea he had done. They were so angry at him.

The hours merged to one long endless bitter darkness and all he could do in the end was sit with his back against the brick wall, his hand twitching on his chest and his eyes starring to the dirty wall in front of him.

Once in a while the voices would become too loud, and Dean would whimper and start to hit his head either with his hands or against the wall, drawing blood.

But no matter what he did, he never stayed long in one place.

Because soon enough the bleeding man would come at him, reaching out to him, never letting him have a moment's peace.

Still he felt that someone was calling out to him, and that call had become too loud to ignore.

. . .

It was a rare moment of clarity, a moment where the voices weren't too loud and it was late into the night.

Dean had no idea how long he had been wondering the streets. He felt lost and constantly afraid.

He got up from the alley he had been hiding and walked to the big street ahead. His head hurt from banging it against the wall in his efforts to silence those damned voices and he didn't care for the blood that was covering half his face from it. He felt so hungry and so thirsty. He was thankful that for once the volume in his head was turned down and he was able to feel something other than pain. Although something told him that this feeling was temporary...

He walked down the big street and looked around. Every store was closed and the yellow light of the street lamps seemed to blur everything. He felt like he was walking in the middle of a mist. There was no one around. Not a single soul.

Dean passed the window of a store and looked at his own reflection. The tired, thin face of a man looked back at him.

"Who are you?"

He had asked the same question before and he was not expecting an answer this time either.

"Tell me what to do?"

He touched his face, hating this feeling more and more.

It was frustrating not being able to remember his own name or his own face and for a moment he wished the voices would come back. He looked deep into the eyes of the reflection and saw only a stranger greeting him.

He kept walking for several minutes in the cold piercing night that made his skin crawl and his hand hug his body tighter. He started to feel dizzy from the hunger and he leaned against a white wall to steady himself.

When he thought he had chased the dizziness away, he opened his eyes and looked around. His steps had brought him outside a bar. It was the first open place he had seen in a while. The bright warm light of the sign was so welcoming. He walked to the corner the window and looked inside.

It was almost empty save for the bartender who was wiping something with a towel and two people sitting on the other side, half in the shadows, huddled together, lost in their conversation. Dean thought that it might be something important they were talking about. One man was lean with long black hair, but he couldn't see his face; only his back. The other one looked bigger but he was almost covered in shadows. They seem consumed by their conversation and they didn't notice him looking at them from the window.

Then something shifted. The voices in his head returned, but they were different somehow. They were not angry...

They were sad; grieving.

They were lamenting.

Dean felt like crying but he didn't know why.

Their wailing filled him completely and unwillingly a tear ran down his face, dramatically trickling all the way to his neck.

Then the mirror in the bar started to ripple, a circular mercurial wave began to spread and the only one to notice was the bigger man obscured by the shadows. That man followed the ripples with his eyes and as he turned Dean felt his heart stop in his chest.

"No" he mumbled.

This was the man he had been seeing all this time.

The bleeding man.

Only this time, he was not bleeding. He looked perfectly normal.

'How is this possible? How is he alive?'

Dean thought that the bleeding man was one of the dead.

As the bigger man in the bar turned to look at him directly, Dean realized he was not breathing. He wanted to ran away and hide. He had tried to kill him so many times since the day he had left the hospital.

But something inside him told him to stay.

To go to him.

And just for a split second their eyes met and Dean felt completely drained; like everything was sucked out of him. He felt like vomiting.

It's the look of utter surprise and horror in the big man's face that destroyed him completely. And as the man turned around, Dean's fear returned and ran away, faster and faster, ignoring the cold and the pain in his leg. He never hesitated or stopped; he simply kept running away from that place and that man.

Running wildly and blindly into the night.

Until his leg gave out and fell flat on his face.

He frantically looked behind him expecting the bleeding man to be there.

But there was no one.

He was alone.

With eyes still on the street, he backed up into an alley and almost crawling found a dark corner and hid.

The bleeding man wouldn't get him there.

Hopefully.

He was wrong.

As soon as he turned his eyes away from the street and looked into the alley, the bleeding man was there for him; breathing down his neck. He looked just like the man in the bar; the only difference was the blood

Their eyes were different too.

These were angry whilst those of the man at the bar looked genuinely surprised.

Dean didn't have the time to ponder much though.

His head was pushed hard against the wall and he fell in the ground. His mind didn't have the time to register what was happening. The bleeding man grabbed him by the neck and started squeezing. Blood kept dripping from his mouth and onto Dean's face. Soon his vision blurred as insufficient short gasps of air tried to enter his lungs.

Before he lost consciousness, he heard him ask

"Why?"

. . .

He was able to open one of his eyes.

The other one was covered with dried blood. His neck felt tight and his chest like someone had placed a weight on it. He wasn't able to move... not yet.

Hunger and thirst had taken their toll. He felt too weak to react to anything.

Not even the rats and the cockroaches that surrounded him came close; they were possibly waiting for him to die so they can feast on his corpse.

The voices were there too.

Of course.

With whatever little strength he had left, he dragged himself to the furthest corner and hid behind a dumpster, and tried to rest his miserable, tired and twitching body.

Hopefully death was close.

. . .

It was almost nightfall when the garbage truck came to collect the trash. As the refuse collector went to grab the dumpster, he noticed two feet on the other side of the bin.

They were shaking.

"Carl!" the middle aged man called at his co worker who was driving the truck. "We have a problem"

"What now?" the driver stuck out his head from the window.

The collector took a tentative step and peeked at the source of the legs.

Two empty blue eyes stared at the space just above his right shoulder. Dried blood covered half his face and his neck. His leg was bent awkwardly and his arms were shaking.

But what scared him the most was a nerve pulsating visibly on his neck while he was mumbling incoherently.

"Carl" he yelled again as he knelt down in front of the man. "Call an ambulance"

He took the man's hand in his own. It felt so cold. And the man didn't react to him.

"And call the police" he added. "We just found a missing person"

. . .

I feel the fear take hold  
Reside in darkness, thrive where most won't go  
Adrift, I curse this gift  
And hope you never know

Feel like a psychotic break comin' on  
Snapping two by fours  
Punching holes in dry wall

Feel like a psychotic break comin' on  
Chalking up my dead friends  
And loved ones long gone

I feel the fear take hold  
Reside in darkness, thrive where most won't go  
Adrift, I curse my gift  
And hope you never know

Feel like a psychotic break comin' on  
Snapping two by fours  
Punching holes in dry wall

Feel like a psychotic break comin' on  
Thinking 'bout my dead friends  
Whose voices ring on

-Jerry Cantrell: Psychotic Break-


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Opening his eyes took everything he had in him. He didn't want to wake up. He wanted to sleep.

Yes, sleep. Sleep forever.

He was always tired these last few years, but after the events of last night, he felt defeated; he felt he had reached the edges of sanity.

But he had seen him! It was as clear as day.

There were moments he questioned what he had seen because it seemed like he was the only person who had seen him, albeit through the mirror… but even in that split second, they had locked eyes. What had been bothering him since was the way Dean's look had changed once he had laid eyes upon him. It was a look of fear and horror. And he hadn't seemed to recognize him for the friend he had always been. The Dean he knew would always smile at him, either with his mouth or his eyes. So he was truly devastated to see him looking back that way.

The hours that had followed this encounter had found Roman frantic, scared for Dean, anxious and desperate; to the point of puking in the early hours of the day.

And talking to the police was not an option. He was too scared and hopeless for that.

He was laying flat on his stomach with eyes fixed on the floor. From an opening between the thick curtains, a thin sun ray passed through and formed a small rainbow on the carpet.

'Fuck' he thought and turned on his back.

Seth was asleep in the bed next to his. It wasn't very often they shared a room but after seeing him Roman's state of mind last night and his irrational behavior, he had wanted to keep an eye on him.

Roman couldn't remember how they had come to the hotel and he couldn't remember going to bed. Everything was a blur. For him, time had stopped the moment his eyes had fallen on Dean through that damn mirror.

The Samoan got up and went for a shower. When he finished, Seth was already awake, sitting on his bed, trying to clear the cobwebs from his still sleeping brain.

"I feel hangover"

"Well, you're not" Roman replied and started to change into his clothes.

"Some night it was!"

But Roman didn't answer. Instead he continued getting dressed.

Seth got up and started rummaging through his own stuff, but upon seeing how futile it was, he stopped.

"Look, we have to talk about yesterday at some point"

"There is nothing to talk about. You don't believe me anyway."

Seth approached and sat beside him.

"I want to. God knows I want to, but I don't want to get your hopes up and then be disappointed. I don't think your heart will be able to take it… I just don't want to see you getting hurt" he paused. "I don't think I'll be able to live with myself"

Roman lowered his head as his friend continued.

"It's been three years… all this time, I've been watching you destroy yourself… and I wish there was something I could've done to take some of the pain away"

Roman looked at him painfully.

"There wasn't… there isn't… it's just that for one moment, one single moment, I saw him looking at me through that mirror. He looked so real. It didn't feel like a hallucination."

"Come on, you know it's not possible… he is gone… for one thousand years…"

"I know" he raised his voice. "I wish… I wish we had some answers. Someone who might help us figure it out"

But there wasn't and they both knew that.

Last time, Matt Hardy had come to their doorstep like a blessing in disguise, holding all the answers, good and bad. His help had proven to be indispensable and both friends knew that without his help, things would have turned out so much worse.

And Hardy had paid for his help; with his life.

"I don't think there's anyone left to help us. We are on our own. We are alone and that's why we have to stick together…"

"So believe me… trust me…" he said almost desperate. "I am not crazy"

Seth looked deep into his eyes. They were so clear and bright. And he knew.

Breathing deeply he said

"I trust you man… with my life. Always have and always will. And we have proven that to each other. But the way you reacted last night… you were out of your mind… running around frantic. I couldn't keep up with you. You reminded me of Dean and that scared the living out of me. I had never seen you like this before; so out of control; so desperate. And it hurt me because I don't want to make the same mistakes I did with Dean. I have known you for years… I should have known by now what kind of person you are… so I believe you"

"It's always taken you a while to see the truth, even when it stared you in the face"

Roman nudged him using his shoulder, a gesture he used to do when he wanted to lift someone's spirit.

"Don't feel bad man. Dean carries the weight of the world on his back so we don't have to."

"But we do… don't we? You do… The moment Dean climbed those stairs, you might as well have climbed up there with him… and I'm following right behind you"

Roman looked out the window. The sun was hiding behind some dark clouds.

It would be another cold and damp day.

"I'm sorry" the Samoan said.

"For what?"

"For dragging you into this. You don't deserve it"

"No… I wasn't implying that it's your fault"

"Still, maybe it would be better if you stayed away"

"Fuck you Roman" Seth yelled at him. "After everything we've been through! Together! How dare you?"

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry" he apologized, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I just feel different these last couple of days. Everything is amplified. I feel like something has changed. I feel something shifting and I'm afraid what it is. I don't want you getting hurt, that's all."

"So what if I do get hurt?"

"Last time, Matt was with us, and despite all his knowledge, it cost him his life. I don't want to lose you to this too. You are all the family I have left."

"But you are my brother. You and Dean are my family. If I won't fight for my brothers, who will I fight for? And you are not going to lose me. For better or for worse, we are in this together"

"Yeah?" Roman asked relieved.

"Yeah! You say you saw him… so then let's go find him. Let's go look for him where you last spotted him. Maybe we'll get lucky"

"Are you sure? I mean I know what I saw but what if it wasn't Dean who I saw?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said it yourself yesterday at the bar. You feel it too. Something is changing. What if Dean is trying to warn us? The Dean I saw was not happy. He was scared and he didn't seem to recognize me"

"Do you think there's any chance it was magic?"

"I don't know"

"There's only one way to find out. Let's go"

. . .

Driving downtown proved to be more difficult than they imagined. The traffic managed to delay them a full hour from reaching their destination. When they finally arrived, they parked the car in a private parking lot. They were exhausted already.

Not to mention it had been raining non-stop since the moment they had left the hotel. Roman, however, figured it was for the best. It would give them a chance to walk the streets covered up and not being stopped by fans every two minutes.

Also this weather reflected perfectly his psychology and his mood.

And judging by his silence and his posture, Seth felt the same way too.

They made it to last night's bar fast enough and surprisingly, they found it open. They entered, not because they wanted a drink or get out of the rain, but because Seth had the idea of asking the bartender if he had seen Dean around the area.

"Hello" Seth tried to smile at the man behind the counter

It was midday and the place was completely empty, which was a relief to both friends.

"Hello" the man answered. "Welcome back. Didn't expect to see you here… you know, after last night"

"Why? What happened last night?" Roman asked.

"You left so fast, like someone was chasing you. I figured you must be running or something…"

"What! No, no, no" Seth faked a laugh; the same obnoxious one he used to sport sometimes during his time as a heel.

The bartender raised his shoulders, not really caring.

"So what can I do for you?"

Seth stepped up to him.

"Well, you were here last night, right?"

"My place. I own it. I run it"

"We were wondering, if you have seen a man…"

"Hold it. You are not going to get me into trouble, are you?"

"No, no!" Seth was a hurry to answer.

"He's a friend of ours" Roman cut in.

"He's been missing for three years and we thought we saw him last night"

Roman took out his phone and showed him a photo of Dean. The bartender looked at it closely.

"Oh yeah..." he said "I remember him… from last night"

Roman felt his heart stop and his stomach clench tight. He felt like puking.

Again.

"So, he was here? You saw him…" Seth was equally surprised and looked at Roman who was still trying to process those last words.

"Yeah, you were sitting in the corner and I was on the other side when I saw him outside the window. I noticed him because I always keep an eye out that late, for thieves and junkies. At first I thought he was homeless. He looked awful… but then he saw something and fled, scared to death"

"So you saw him? You actually saw him?" Roman just wanted to make sure. "This man?" and tapped of the screen.

"Yes. He didn't look so healthy, but it was him"

"You are sure?"

The bartender looked at Seth displeased and annoyed.

"Am I fucking stuttering?"

"No, I'm sorry. One last question and we'll be out of your way"

The man looked at them and huffed impatiently.

"Did you see which way he went?"

The bartender pointed to the left side of the window.

"Thank you so much" Rollins said and before leaving, he placed a $20 bill on the counter.

Roman was already outside and walking when his friend joined him. He had to jog to catch up and it wasn't easy in the wet, slippery pavement.

He caught up to him at the corner of the block, as the sky became darker, with clouds covering the entire sky and the rain turning almost into a storm.

"We have to get out of the rain" he yelled as the noise from the rain almost covered his voice, but Roman kept looking around, half expecting to see Dean in front of him again. He was snapped out of it by loud thunder striking the earth not too far from them.

"We can't leave yet… I can almost feel it"

"It's not safe. We are not going to find him in this weather"

Just as Seth was speaking these words, Roman felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and pulling it out, he checked the caller ID.

It was an unknown number.

His first thought was to reject the call, but then something stirred inside him and the familiar nauseous feeling returned. Ignoring Seth's words, he took the call.

"Hello?"

An unfamiliar generic voice greeted him.

"Hello. Is this Mr. Reigns?"

"Yes"

"I am calling from St. Michael hospital. You are listed as Mr. Dean Ambrose's emergency contact?"

It wasn't really a question but more of a statement. However it was enough to make him dizzy to the point of grabbing Seth for stability.

Seth's mood changed when he saw Roman's face turn white.

"What is it?" he asked concerned, but all Roman did was squeeze his shoulder more as waves of nausea and dizziness hit him.

"I… I … I think so… I mean… I don't know" he stumbled his words.

"Well, Mr. Reigns, you are. I'm calling to let you know that a patient was admitted in our facility this morning matching the description of Mr. Ambrose and we were wondering if you could come in and make a positive identification."

To these words, Roman lost all control of rational thought and speech didn't make it past his throat.

Seth next to him was losing his mind, not knowing what was happening.

"Mr. Reigns?" the voice of the other side asked.

"I'm here" he whispered "Is…is… is he still alive?"

Seth froze and Roman held his breath waiting for the answer.

"He's alive but non-responsive, so we're going to be needing you for that identification"

"What do you mean 'non-responsive'?"

"Please, Mr. Reigns, I can't discuss anything further until you come in. As soon as you make sure it is indeed Mr. Ambrose, the doctor will be able to answer all your questions. The police are going to want to talk to you as well"

"I'm on my way"

His mouth felt dry and his lips numb.

"What?" Seth yelled.

"They found him"

"Who?"

Roman looked lost.

"Dean"

Seth had no reply to that. He had difficulty believing his own ears, so instead he kept looking at the Samoan. It took a few moments to gather himself.

"Is it true? Is it possible? Where is he?"

"He's in the hospital. Apparently, I am his emergency contact"

"So it is him!"

"They are not sure. We need to go and give them an identification… they said, he is not responsive but wouldn't tell me anything more until I come in… Seth…" he was to the point of tears "what if it's not him?"

"Roman! What if it is him?"

His eyes shone and he smiled wide, grabbing Roman's arm in excitement. But it was obvious that he didn't share the enthusiasm.

He looked petrified.

"What are you so scared of?"

"I don't think my heart will be able to take the disappointment… they said the police will want to talk to us"

With that Seth's smile vanished. They had lied to everybody about Dean's disappearance. And now this potential return put a weird twist into things.

"Do you think he has told them anything?"

"I don't know… I don't think so… they said he was not responsive"

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know…" his voice got lost.

"What are we going to tell them?"

Roman looked at Seth.

"Maybe we should stick to our story…" he proposed and Rollins nodded hesitantly.

Without another word, they started running in the rain, towards the car ignoring the ragging storm.

. . .

As before, traffic was a nightmare and due to an accident, they had been stuck for a full hour before continuing their journey.

When they arrived at the hospital, it was already five in the afternoon.

They entered the hospital through the front door, both men soaked to the bone as they had to park far away from the main building. The stopped at the main entry and looked around. Upon spotting the reception desk, they approached numbly.

"Hello… I am Roman Reigns. Someone from this hospital called me about Dean Ambrose…"

The receptionist took one fast glance at them and then turned her gaze at the computer in front of her. Unimpressed and coldly, she directed them to level -1 and the office of one doctor Matthews.

Together they made their way to the elevators. In agonizing silence, they pressed the button. Almost immediately, the doors opened.

Seth pressed awkwardly the button to sub level 1.

"I hate sub-levels. Nothing good ever happens there." He said staring at his reflection on the doors.

"You know what else is in the sub levels?"

"What?"

"The morgue" Roman said ominously.

These words felt like a slap to the face. Seth wanted to refute that last statement but a soft pinging noise signified they had arrived at their destination.

The sub level was brightly lit, with white fluorescent tubes stuck in the ceiling. The sickly white hallway was narrow and seemed to become narrower with every step they took.

Dr. Matthews's office was not far.

After a few minutes of waiting, the doctor met them and invited them into his office.

"Mr. Reigns, thank you for coming. I am Dr. Matthews and my office called you. And you are?" he asked looking at Seth.

"This is Seth Rollins. He is as close to family as I am."

"Alright then…"

The doctor's office was no better than the rest of the hospital. It was cold and sterilized, as were the stiff chairs they were currently sitting on.

"Is it him?" Roman asked hastily.

"That's why we called you. The man in question was found in an alley covered in blood in a catatonic state"

He paused.

"Gentlemen… what I am trying to say is prepare"

"For what?" Seth asked alarmed.

"If this is indeed you friend… the nightmare he's living is far from over. Prepare because if this is Mr. Ambrose, you might not be ready for what you are about to see"

Roman and Seth looked at each other.

"Please follow me" the doctor said and got off his chair, leading both friends out of his office. They briefly walked in a corridor that led them to the left wing of the building.

The lights there were significantly dimmer and the colors on the walls were softer. To Roman, this place seemed quieter, and to Seth, creepier.

"Hey" Seth whispered to Roman, who was following the doctor.

"What?"

All Seth did was point at a sign next to the doors they were about to pass through.

'PSYCHIATRIC WARD'

Roman felt his mouth dry.

"Hey doc…" he caught up to the man leading them, "Why are we in the psychiatric ward?"

"Look, Mr. Reigns, it's best if I show you first. Then I can answer all your questions"

With that he began walking again with the two friends in tow.

Finally they reached the last door of the wing. Dr. Matthews stopped outside the door and spoke gently.

"All you have to do is make the identification. Please try not to react or interact with the patient… if this is indeed your friend"

He unlocked the door and soundlessly opened it. He waved them inside.

The fact that the door was locked before didn't go unnoticed to both friends. But they had other matters to tend to… more important ones. All potential questions would have to wait for later.

Roman looked inside the room. He only had to take one step and look inside.

For what seemed like an eternity, he took the first step inside and lifted his eyes.

He brought his hand on his mouth to stop any noise escaping his lips. Tears misted his eyes.

The breath his took got stuck in his throat and he forgot how to breathe.

. . .

Lay a whisper on my pillow  
Leave the winter on the ground  
I wake up lonely, there's air of silence  
In the bedroom and all around

Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away

It must have been love but it's over now  
It must have been good but I lost it somehow  
It must have been love but it's over now  
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out

Make-believing we're together  
That I'm sheltered by your heart  
But in and outside I've turned to water  
Like a teardrop in your palm  
And it's a hard winter's day, I dream away

It must have been love but it's over now  
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without  
It must have been love but it's over now  
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows  
It's where the wind blows

It must have been love but it's over now  
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without  
It must have been love but it's over now  
It's where the water flows.

-Roxette: It Must Have Been Love-


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Dean was never a fan of scary movies. He enjoyed all other kinds but when it came to horror, he wasn't into it. The few times he had seen one, he had been with Seth and Roman and he had regretted every minute of it. He had told them he hated the way they made him feel; nauseous.

And now Roman knew exactly what he meant by that.

Entering that room felt like being in that kind of horror movie. He felt like the walls were closing in around him and the room getting smaller and darker. The bed looked even scarier in the distance and the hidden fluorescent lights above it, made it even creepier.

There were two beds in that room. The one closest to the door was empty and hidden in the shadows. A white curtain wall was hiding most of the second bed, allowing visibility only to the foot of it.

Dr. Matthews advanced into the room and at that moment Roman felt the walls and the tiled floor elongate, making his stomach turn.

'That must the nausea Dean was talking about'

"Steady on" Seth spoke softly, noticing his friend's sudden malaise.

The doctor had stopped by the second bed and was checking a chart when they decided to proceed.

The hollow sound of the curtain being drawn went unnoticed.

There he lay.

There was no mistake about it.

But at the same time he looked so different.

Maybe it was the terrible state he was in.

Dean's eyes were closed. He looked thinner than he remembered. His skin was a strange unnatural hue of grey and pale white. His once wild, unruly hair now stuck to his head but their color seemed to have faded as well.

The side of his head was bandaged and the swelling had travelled down to his eye. His neck though… it was bruised; red, black and yellow discolorations marred his skin and Roman could see the outlines of fingers among them.

The bed sheet covered the rest of his body, except his bandaged hand and knee.

The doctor waited patiently for a response but Roman simply couldn't take his eyes off of him. He just kept looking, lost in the sight before him. Seth beside him was in no better condition. The Samoan was waiting for a sign; anything, to prove that Dean was still alive. He expected him to open his eyes and give him a smile.

At that point he was ready for anything…

Anything.

But not even his closed eyes were moving. His chest barely rose from his shallow, slow breathing.

Nothing.

And it was hard. He had never seen Dean like that before; tethering seemingly between life and death.

Roman felt his eyes well up but before the tears came, a new wave of nausea hit him and bringing his hand up to cover his mouth, he exited the room running.

The doctor looked at him surprised and then at Seth who hadn't taken his eyes off of Dean.

"Well?"

"God help us doc" he said and looked at the door.

He went to leave the room, but before closing the door behind him, he stopped.

"God help us all because that… that is Dean Ambrose"

. . .

He found Roman sitting in an iron chair, alone in an empty visitor's lounge. His head hang low, held in his hands. He couldn't see his face but he realized he was taking deep breaths. A trash can between his feet meant that he hadn't made it to the bathroom. When he sat next to him, Roman was spitting the last taste of bile out of his mouth.

He handed him a plastic cup of water, which he accepted without looking. He rinsed his mouth and sat back leaning heavily against the chair. His face was pale from the shock and the vomiting and his eyes were red. He looked at Seth sideways. He too didn't look too good either. He wasn't sure which one of the two looked worse.

Seth was looking into the distance at nothing in particular, just trying to put his thoughts in order.

He couldn't.

"Fuck!" he said after a while, louder than he meant to, but Roman didn't react. "I mean, what the fuck! I can't believe what I just saw…" Then he looked back at his friend. Roman was still pale but now he was about to cry.

"Hey hey… please don't" he tried to console him by hugging him.

Roman didn't let his tears flow but he did hug his shield brother tighter. He felt like he was drowning and Seth was the only one keeping him afloat.

"Listen… why don't we go talk to that doctor and get some answers? We will deal with the rest later, ok? One thing at a time"

Seth's words made sense. He was so overwhelmed! Everything felt like it was crushing him; his mind was trying to process too many things, all at once and it was failing. Like it had before.

Roman had trouble three years ago coming to terms with what had been happening, because too many events had taken place in such a rapid succession. And it was only with the help of Seth and especially Matt Hardy's, he had been able to put his thoughts in order and clear his head.

And he wanted that right now. Seth knew that Roman was about to break down and he couldn't afford to allow himself a breakdown. He had to stay strong for him; for all three of them.

Stay strong and offer as much guidance and clarity as he could.

God knew Roman needed that right now. When it came to Dean, he had always been unable of rational thought. It was always emotional.

"Thank you" the larger man said, looking sincerely into his eyes after breaking the embrace.

"For what?"

"For being here"

Seth nudged his shoulder and smiled.

"Always… now come on… let's go talk to that doctor"

. . .

Dr. Matthews was sitting in his office, quietly waiting for the two men to return. A file was opened in front of him, filled with papers of tests, as well as some toxicology reports, tests for viruses, blood work and photos of the wounds before and after they were tended to. The rape kit had come back negative. However all the other samples and items of clothing hadn't been sent to forensics for DNA testing yet; he would do so, should it become necessary.

Upon hearing a soft knock on the door, he invited his guests inside and closed the file, carefully putting it aside. It was meant for his eyes only. The photos alone were disturbing enough. However Roman's eyes didn't miss the subtle gesture and for some reason felt helpless when he saw the patient's name on the label.

PSYCHIATRIC WARD PATIENT: AMBROSE, DEAN

And he couldn't take his eyes off it. He desperately wanted to look inside, even if he wouldn't understand most of it.

"Please, take a seat"

Numbness spread from his stomach to his lips and he simply copied Seth, who sat across the desk.

"Thank you again. I know it wasn't an easy thing to do, but now I can answer any questions you might have."

"Do you know what happened?" Seth's voice echoed dry and strange, like dust was stuck in his throat. He had spoken first because he knew his friend was in no position to do so yet.

"Sanitation workers found him in an alley and called 9-1-1. He was brought to the hospital severely dehydrated and malnourished. His knee was dislocated; he had cuts on his body, bruises around his neck, signifying that someone had tried to strangle him… other than that, physically, he will be fine, and his body will recover very soon"

Then a dramatic pause.

Roman waited for the punch in the gut; a thing that usually followed such long pauses.

And it sure came, knocking the wind out of his lungs.

"His mental condition is what really worries me. He was found in a catatonic state and we have been unable to communicate with him."

"Why is he strapped to the bed?" Roman asked and he could have sworn it was someone else's voice.

The doctor leaned over and took off his glasses.

"Because… he is violent"

The statement fell like a nuclear bomb.

"I'm sorry… what?" Seth leaned closer to the desk as well.

"Mr. Ambrose woke up once, a few hours ago and immediately became violent... He was scratching his face, his neck and his chest... he was hurling himself against the walls. He was screaming incoherently and attacked an orderly, thankfully not hurting him. We sedated and restrained him"

"Is he sedated now?"

The doctor nodded positively.

"How did you know it was him? I mean, how did you know to call us?" Rollins continued.

"One of the sanitation workers recognized him from TV and told the EMT's. They alerted the police."

"What happens now?" Roman didn't look at the doctor or his friend. He didn't want to be here anymore. He wanted to go back to Dean's room. Take him in his arms and never let him go.

"Starting tomorrow, we will try again to communicate with him, but it would helpful if you were there; maybe seeing you will be beneficial to his mental state. Will you be able to come again? Tomorrow morning?"

Both men answered without hesitation.

"Doctor, what if he doesn't improve?" Roman knew that Seth had to ask that question.

"It is too early to tell. There's medication we can try, as well as other treatments"

"Other treatments? Like what?" Seth asked.

They could see the doctor getting slightly nervous.

"We will start treating him with benzodiazepines, drugs used for catatonic patients..."

"What other treatments?" Roman repeated the question, angry at how this man had tried to avoid it.

"In cases like this, electroconvulsive therapy is very efficient. Together with the benzodiazepines, it's effective in.."

"No!" Roman exclaimed, disgusted and horrified at was he was hearing.

"Please Mr. Reigns... calm down... please, listen to me... I am not suggesting starting it immediately, but if drugs won't work, it is a treatment you won't be able to ignore, not if you want to help your friend. It has no real health risks and it might really help bring him back"

Roman felt for the second time tonight, the walls closing in around him. Sweat was running down his back. The numbness had set in, rendering him unable to move; just felt anger raging under the calm surface of the numbness.

"I know, it's too much for one person... it's a bitter pill to swallow but I'm afraid you're going to have to be aware of all your options. As far as his file goes, he has only you listed as his only immediate contact. No other family members?"

"It's just us" Seth was quick to add. Both men knew Dean had parents but they were estranged and hadn't spoken in decades. They had no say in his life in the past and as sure as hell they wouldn't have any say in this.

"One question" the doctor put his glasses back on "Before he went missing, did Mr. Ambrose abused drugs?"

"No" Seth looked at Roman perplexed.

"Did he suffer from any mental illness, like schizophrenia?"

"No... why? Don't you have his file over there?" Roman pointed at the stack of papers.

"We do... it's just procedure, because catatonia in patients is caused either by drug abuse, mental illness or P.T.S.D. Sometimes our minds can't handle reality so they build walls around them for protection from the cruelty of truth"

"No, Dean was always normal; overexcited and hyperactive when it came to work, but otherwise, he was fun and chill"

The realization that Roman had spoken about Dean in the past tense came a few moments later.

"Listen, why don't you take some rest and come back tomorrow morning. The police might want to talk to you, so best make yourselves available"

Seth stood up and Roman followed suit. They didn't shake hands with the doctor. They were too emotionally drained for such formalities. But before closing the door behind them, Roman's brain unfroze momentarily and turning back asked.

"You said he was screaming"

"Yes"

"What was he screaming about?"

"Most of it was incoherent. The nurses managed to make out a few words"

He opened the file and took a few moments before answering"

"Bleeding man... that's what he kept screaming... bleeding man"

. . .

When they left the hospital, the sun had already set and the city lights shone almost as bright. Roman wanted to go back inside. The elevator ride to the ground floor felt like a descent to hell despite the fact they were going up. He forced himself to keep walking, hoping that the fresh air would help.

The cold night wind did little to his psyche. He felt cold, tired and miserable.

Seth next to him was no better. He pretended that everything was fine, putting up a brave face for his friend, but it was obvious he was feeling the same things. They silently walked to the car and drove, but not back to the hotel, but a lonely forgotten dinner.

Roman didn't object.

When they sat at their booth, he felt like a hundred years old. He looked outside at the streets, still wet from the rain, at the people walking, the blinking traffic lights, the cars. It all felt alien. He looked at Seth, sitting across him, He too looked like he had aged with him.

"It's going to snow" he mumbled and looked at the Samoan. "I can smell it in the air"

"Dean likes the snow" his reply came, happy that he had used present tense.

The waitress came, took their order and left not bothering them again, until she returned a few minutes later bringing their order.

"What do you think it means?" Seth asked "For the balance, I mean"

"I don't know. I thought that once inside, there was no way out... maybe the balance spat him back out because he couldn't handle being the guardian?"

"Or because he couldn't handle being away from you" the comment came out without any thought. But that thought had never occurred to Roman.

"What?"

"Well, think about it. Maybe Matt was right. Maybe Dean shouldn't have known your true feelings. Is it possible that Dean loves you too much to be apart from you? Maybe he tried being the guardian but his love for you was bigger than his sense of duty to the worlds..."

Roman blinked.

"Or..."

That dreaded word.

"Or something else happened and there's no more balance"

"Yeah... but wouldn't we know? If there's no more balance, wouldn't there be some sings of the worlds collapsing?"

"Perhaps... then again Matt told us the collapse wouldn't happen in a moment but over the course of years. What if the balance threw him out of the tower in the state he was found... as punishment" Seth wondered. "It's the only thing that makes sense. I have been thinking about it since we left the hospital. But I could be very wrong."

A switch flipped in Roman's head and suddenly the beginnings of a thought formed in his mind.

"When I saw him last night... he didn't seem to recognise me as... me. He was scared, terrified at my sight"

Seth didn't interrupt. He knew the Samoan was talking mostly to himself, trying to make sense of his jumbled brain.

"Maybe the balance is punishing him... what if I'm the reason Dean is no longer the guardian? Who is the bleeding man?" his voice trailed off.

Then he stopped, his thought getting lost in the tangled web of his mind, escaping his grasp. Frustrated he leaned back, losing all appetite.

"I almost had it"

Seth had a vague idea where his friend's train of thought meant to go but didn't speak.

He didn't like the ending.

Besides, there was no way of proving any of it. All they had were their tired bodies and exhausted minds. Maybe tomorrow would bring some answers.

Or more questions.

Tomorrow would be long day. They would have to talk to the police.

They would have to tell Vince and Triple H that Dean had been found.

And they would have to face Dean and the possibility of shock treatment.

And they desperately knew they wouldn't be able to get much sleep tonight.

. . .

Dr. Matthews returned to his office after making his last rounds. It was now only illuminated by a desk lamp. He took the file and opened it in front of him. He looked at the photo of his patient and then at his mobile phone.

He hesitated for a while, weighing his options, his gaze alternating between the two objects. He picked up the phone and dialled, sighing.

Someone picked up but didn't speak.

They didn't have to.

"They came in today. You better hurry"

Sweat ran down his face, nervousness reaching every pore of his body.

The line went dead. Dr. Matthews threw the phone loudly on his desk.

He couldn't wait to get rid of the patient.

As well as the dangerous man on the other end of the line.

. . .

Screaming at the window  
Watch me die another day  
Hopeless situation  
Endless price I have to pay

Sanity now it's beyond me  
There's no choice

Diary of a madman  
Walk the line again today  
Entries of confusion  
Dear diary, I'm here to stay

Manic depression befriends me  
Hear his voice  
Sanity now is beyond me  
There's no choice

A sickened mind and spirit  
The mirror tells me lies  
Could I mistake myself for someone  
Who lives behind my eyes?  
Will he escape my soul  
Or will he live in me?  
Is he trying to get out  
Or trying to enter me?

Voices in the darkness  
Scream away my mental health  
Can I ask a question  
To help me save me from myself?

Enemies fill up the pages  
Are they me?  
Monday 'til Sunday in stages  
Set me free

Ozzy Osbourne-Diary Of A Madman

. . .


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Predictably morning found them with very little sleep. Seth had offered to share a hotel room but Roman had wished to be alone.

' _Are you sure that's the right thing for you right now? Be alone?'_

But he had insisted. He needed the space and time alone.

' _Would you mind calling Triple H tomorrow? I don't think I can do it'_

Roman was in bed, under a pile of covers. He had been too tired to even sleep. Every time he had closed his eyes, the image of Dean came in his dreams.

On the bed, screaming, bleeding from his eyes and mouth; hitting his head against the wall… the worst dream was the one where Dean was strapped on the bed with electrodes on his temples, giving him a never ending shock treatment. In this dream, Dean was awake and alert. He was silently begging for Roman's help but he was unable to do anything. All he could do was stand frozen and watch Dean being tortured; electrocuted until his flesh started to melt and pieces of it fell from his body onto the bloodied tiled floor; until his eyes were liquid.

Roman had woken from that dream sobbing, with the smell of burning skin still in his nose. It had felt so real… so final. And he hadn't been able to close his eyes since.

A soft knock at the door forced him to get up. His legs felt like they were made of lead. Seth greeted him with two cups of coffee. He didn't look too good either.

"No sleep?" he asked as he entered the room.

"No"

"Me neither"

He walked to the window and sat down in a chair close to it. He pulled the curtains revealing to the Samoan the world outside.

"You were right. It is snowing"

"I called Triple H…"

Roman didn't react. He simply looked outside.

"I told him they found Dean and that the police and the hospital wanted us here"

"What did he say?"

"He wanted to know more about Dean's condition. I told him he's catatonic and that's why the doctor wants us here; help them get through to him. He got really worried then. He said we can have as much time as we need that he'll deal with Vince and the producers. He said to call him with any news, any time… whatever we need"

Roman felt relieved, that was one weight off his shoulders.

"Thanks man… I just couldn't… you know, deal with it"

"Hey… any time man… that's what brothers are for"

Roman sat on the bed and looked outside again. It was snowing. The sky was darkening, meaning that there would be more snowfall coming their way. Soon enough, it would cover everything. He kept his eyes out, his mind wondering to the past and some distant memory of the three of them goofing off in the snow. He couldn't remember if they had been in Canada, but he could recall Dean's laughter. How wet he had gotten from rolling on the snow; and he definitely could remember his smile the next day despite the cold and the high fever he had earned from the snow fight.

"What do we tell the police" Seth asked.

Roman thought for a while, trying to think through this happy memory.

"Nothing… I don't think we should tell them about the night at the bar"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to give them any more reason to have him committed"

"How's that?"

"I don't know. I have been up all night thinking about it. Something in my gut tells me that the less they know, the better"

Seth joined him looking outside. After all they had been through it made sense to tell them nothing. They had no idea what was going on and for a brief second, a terrifying thought crossed his mind.

"Do you think there's someone out there trying to hurt him? Like before? With Bray? I mean there were bruises around his neck"

"But if someone wanted to kill him, why didn't they finish the job? They certainly could have, given the state he was in…"

"Do you believe there's a chance he did it to himself?"

"That's why I think it's better to say as little as possible. After last time, I don't trust anyone but you. For now, I think it's best to keep the police away. Maybe now that he's found, they will close the missing person's case"

"Won't they want to know who assaulted him?"

Roman lowered his head.

"Most likely, they think he did it to himself… especially after his violent outburst at the hospital"

"This is getting complicated" he said exasperated.

"And too unpredictable. And I hate not knowing… not having control"

Seth looked at his friend. He was no longer sad, but angry and determined. That Roman was at time like these at his best.

"What's changed?" he asked the big man.

"How do you mean?"

"Yesterday, I was wiping the floor with your tears man… you were all over the place. What happened since yesterday?"

"I had a nightmare… about Dean… A horrible, disgusting dream and I promised to myself I'd do anything to stop it from coming true"

"What did you dream about?"

"Of Dean… he was in a hospital bed with electrodes on both sides of his head. He was strapped in so he wouldn't be able to move. He was… awake… aware… he was looking at me for help but I couldn't move… then someone flipped the switch and the electrocution started… but it didn't stop… not even when…"

"When his flesh started to burn and melt away and his eyes became liquid?"

Roman's cup almost fell on the floor and he had to take a few moments to process what he had heard.

"How did you know?"

"Because I had the same dream… Roman I think, Dean's trying to tell us something… If we're having the same dream, maybe he is trying to communicate with us"

"And tell us what?"

"Get him out of there? Maybe he still has traces of the balance inside him that makes him able to talk to us like this."

"Or maybe someone is yanking our chain… using us to get to him… it won't be our first encounter with magic"

"So what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. There are too many questions so few answers. I can only guess at this point… wildly."

The sky outside had already filled with white clouds and the streets were covered in snow. Few people walked outside and even fewer cars were in the streets.

"We better go before we get stuck here"

Roman put his coffee down and started getting ready.

. . .

They barely made it to the hospital before the streets closed. They were almost empty but too slippery and it had taken them a while to arrive.

Upon descending to level -1, they found Dr. Matthews talking to two men in suits.

They were the police. And they wanted to talk to them.

To both their surprise however they considered the missing person's case of Dean Ambrose, closed. Which meant that the doctors considered Dean's wounds self inflicted. And that was good and bad.

Good, because it got the police out of their hair and bad, because it left the doors open to the psychiatric ward wide open and ominously welcoming.

Roman and Seth had managed to keep their cool and stick to their story. No one had talked about their previous encounter with Dean but both had felt light headed afterwards. They were thankful however the interview hadn't lasted long. The police had acted relaxed, like it was just routine, so the friends had played into that, acting worried but confident in the doctor's abilities.

' _Bullshit'_ Roman thought and one look at Seth told him that he was feeling the same way. He knew very well the doctors wouldn't be able to cure anything. There was no cure for what was plaguing Dean's mind. But for now, they had to play along. Roman was desperate to see him again.

Maybe they would let him talk to him…

Maybe even touch him…

A touch.

That's all… just enough to make sure he as there… that he was real.

Alive.

With every step towards Dr. Matthews office, he felt whatever control he had, slipping away. And Seth picked that up, and held his shoulder in support.

"Shit" Roman whispered and almost doubled over, his panic levels rising, making his stomach ache.

"I'm here… calm down… we're in this together… You have to do this otherwise no one else will… no one else can"

Somehow these words gave him some courage to face whatever came next.

Dr. Matthews was at his desk, looking at a file that Roman recognized as Dean's.

"Now that you're done with the police, shall we begin?"

"What are we going to be doing?" Seth asked.

"The sedatives we gave Mr. Ambrose are wearing off. I thought it might be a good for him to see a familiar face. Maybe seeing you will cause a reaction and bring him out of his catatonic state."

"What if he doesn't?" Roman throat felt like sandpaper.

"We'll try a series of sessions; try talking to him about his past… memories… we have him on biodiazepines, so hopefully we'll get a reaction"

Seth wanted to ask him a question but the desk phone rang and the doctor picked it up. After a few moments of awkward silence, he asked the two wrestlers to excuse him and told them he would be joining them outside in a few minutes.

"You wanted to say something?" Roman asked as they walked towards the coffee vending machine. Maybe it was not such a good idea to drink a second cup on an empty stomach.

"Yeah" Seth mumbled. "What if Dean has a violent reaction?" he leaned and whispered, not wanting to be heard from the passing crowd. "Doc over there is so preoccupied with catatonic Dean, he doesn't seem to consider violent Dean. What if the balance turned his screws loose? What if he attacks?"

Roman nodded.

"I don't know… we'll figure out a way… there must be a way… there's always one… right?"

The doctor came out of the office and joining them, led them away from the noisy crowd to the ominously and dimly lit psychiatric ward.

Roman tried to gather his strength and empty all thought from his mind. He couldn't afford letting his thinking spread all over the place. He had to focus, and fast. Feeling his entire body tense and his muscles lock, he came to a stop in front of the room.

' _Here we go'_

. . .

He didn't have any sense of time. Ever since he had woken up in that field, he just couldn't keep track of the passing days or hours. He would hurt and black out, and every time the bleeding man would be there.

Every single time.

When he woke up he was barely aware of his surroundings. The whole world was spinning out of control, dizzying him to the point of being unable to form any thought.

Coherent or otherwise.

He had a vague feeling of hurt in his knee and his right fist, but the drugs in his system were still strong enough to dull the pain.

Lying on his back didn't help either. Maybe puking would help, but his body didn't respond to any command given by his brain.

It took some effort opening his eyes. Despite the darkness, he recognized the room. Last time he had been conscious, there were people in here.

Doctors and nurses.

Beeping machines.

Bright lights.

And the bleeding man; same face, same long hair, same tattoos, same built… same nightmare.

He had been there, spraying blood all over him, straddling him, pinning him down on the bed, hands on his neck, nails digging deep in his flesh. Sharp teeth had tried to chew his face off but he had fought him with everything he had by throwing him against the wall.

Then he had been consumed by darkness again, the same one he was now trying to chase out of his brain. He looked around and breathed in relief.

Thankfully, the bleeding man was not there. He would return however… he knew that.

He always came back sooner or later.

Blinking a few times cleared his vision. All the blood was gone. His demon, had covered him with it and some had gotten on the walls.

That too was gone.

He tried to move but realized his arms and legs were strapped to the bed.

' _Fuck'_ his mind screamed. He was helpless and terrified.

If the bleeding man came back, there was nothing he could do. After the wild attack in the alley he had lost all contact with his surroundings and until he had woken up in this room, he truly believed he had died.

Pity he hadn't.

He didn't strain against his bonds; there was no point to it. Instead he looked up at the ceiling and waited for 'him'. He felt like he had been running away from him and his sanity. He knew however that something had been calling out to him, almost begging to be found… or someone. And for a second, he thought he had found it; that night. His heart had jumped out of his chest, elated to reach his destination.

But it had all been a ruse; a sick joke from the 'demon', he called the bleeding man, to destroy him.

He wanted to scream, yell out 'KILL ME ALREADY AND BE DONE WITH IT', but no words came out. Not even one muscle in his body moved. He didn't even flinch when the door of the room opened. Instead he kept looking up.

A man approached and stood at the left side of the bed. Dean still didn't move; he barely blinked.

"Dean, I am Dr. Matthews. We met briefly yesterday."

Nothing. The doctor's eyes fell on his patient's unexpressed face, his empty eyes and tied limbs.

"I'm sorry for the restraints but you attacked a nurse yesterday. Thankfully, he's fine, so no worries.."

Still empty. The doctor looked at the door. Two men, half in the shadows, we waiting anxiously.

"Dean... there's someone here to see you. Is it ok? Can I show them in?"

The doctor knew he wouldn't be getting a response any time soon. He looked at the door and waived them inside.

Hesitantly, Roman took the first step inside, followed by his SHIELD brother. He was more anxious today than yesterday. He wasn't able to see Dean from the door; just the doctor. A curtain was hiding him from the empty bed beside him.

"I'm right behind you" Seth whispered "Whatever happens"

The Samoan came to stop at the foot of the bed and looked at his lost companion. He managed to choke a sob though his fists were shaking; that's why they were hidden in his jacket's pockets. It was so hard to see him like this. Yesterday, he had been sedated but today he was awake. He had never seen those blue eyes so empty, emotionless; so still. He looked thinner and tired. His pale skin and the bruises were proof if the hardships he must have suffered. But in this semi darkness, even those seemed to become translucent… as the rest of his body.

He looked like he was fading.

Roman looked at the doctor, silently asking what to do.

"Come closer and talk to him. Be calm, relaxed… I'll be over here if you need me" he said backing away to the shadows.

Roman came closer, leaving the foot of the bed to go to the side, where to curtain was drawn. There was no sign of movement, not a twitch. Even the blinking of his eyes seemed sparse. His right hand was bandaged.

' _Probably from attacking the nurse'_

He let his fingers hover above the unmoving hand and slowly traced the veins of his wrist.

Still no reaction. Dean kept staring at the ceiling. Roman took his hand in his own careful not to hurt him any further. He already looked like he was made of glass. He didn't want to break him.

"Dean?" the name came out like a question followed by the escape of the sob he had been suppressing. "Can you hear me? It's me… Roman"

Then the blinking got faster at the sound of the Samoan's voice. Dean's eyes grew larger and Roman almost jumped back when Dean turned his face and looked straight at him. There was no love there; no sign of recognition; not friendship. Just fear.

Pure, clean and paralyzing fear.

. . .

Dean had tried to ignore the gurgling sounds as soon as the door had opened. It didn't matter what the doctor had said.

The bleeding man was there. He didn't have to see him; the sound was enough.

He was standing right next to him, in all his glory. He had tried to ignore him at first but then he had touched him and unwillingly he had turned to look at him.

And there he was; all bloodied, dirty and ready to devour him. Dean tried to untangle his hand but it was held in place by the leather strap.

"No" he mumbled and started thrashing in the bed, never taking his eyes off him

Roman let go of his hand, losing the earth under his feet upon seeing this reaction.

"Get away from me" he yelled, his voice rough and deeper than usual.

"Dean… it's me… your friend…" Roman blurted and reached out again but Dean recoiled on the bed, not managing to go very far.

"Please don't" Dean's eyes were filled with tears "don't hurt me…"

"I would never hurt you…" his voice got lost.

But all Dean heard were faint words lost among hissing noises, throats gurgling in blood and screams that scratched his brain.

"Not again" and closing his eyes he continued thrashing and screaming. He was pulling his restraints harder and harder, and the whole bed frame shook, threatening to break from the sheer force and desperation.

Roman, terrified, stepped back, letting the doctor approach the bed. Dr. Matthews grabbed Dean by the head, immobilizing him. A syringe filled with white liquid was quickly injected into his neck, just between two protruding veins.

The effect was fast.

Dean's muscles relaxed almost instantly and his body fell heavy against the mattress. Roman stood behind the doctor. His back stepping had moved the curtain out of position, allowing light from the corridor to fall on his friend's face. His eyes were slightly open and his face was calm once again. But the tears still marred his skin, and that felt like a punch in the gut.

"Would you mind waiting outside? I'll be with you shortly"

It took a while for both men to snap out of the initial shock and move.

They couldn't walk far. They found two chairs in a crowded lounge and wordlessly sat down. Their legs were still shaking.

Seth had his head low, palms behind it, elbows resting on his knees.

Roman looked numbly at the people around him, the noise of the crowd a stark contrast to the eerie silence of the room before all that screaming had taken place.

"Fuck" Seth uttered not caring in anyone had heard him. "This is not good". He glanced at his friend who looked like a lost child in a full stadium. "What happened?"

Roman numbly looked at him and tearfully said

"I don't know"

Seth brought him in his arms in a tight hug, one they both needed so much and stayed like that until the earth felt like it was back under their feet.

. . .

As soon as they left the room the doctor closed the door behind them and nervously fumbled in his pocket. Dean was seemingly relaxed from the sedative he had been given a few moments ago. He came near the bed and leaned over, checking his pupils with a small flashlight.

"I know you are awake. I know you can still hear me in there but you can't move" he whispered in his ear as he caressed his sweaty hair. "There is someone else here to see you"

He took out another syringe and placed it next to the bed.

Dean was paralyzed from the drug he had been given but couldn't react in the slightest. Not even his eyes which were fixed once again upwards to that God forsaken ceiling. He lost view of the doctor but soon he heard the door open and close once again. There was someone else in the room with them, Dean could feel him for some reason. Still, the only thing he could do was stare up.

Those steps came close and stood next to him. He could almost see who it was.

The man took a step closer and despite the long shadows of the dimly lit room, Dean did see him.

It was not the bleeding man but there was something about him that made his skin crawl; something sinister and more dangerous.

A huge frame and unruly long hair loomed above him and two cold, vengeful eyes bore holes into him. The man took the syringe and showed it to Dean. His hand traveled from Dean's chest to his neck and the nasty bruises that still hurt to the softest touch. Swiftly the man grabbed him from the neck and squeezing it painfully, stuck the needle violently directly on a bruise. The contents emptied in his already paralyzed body and he felt something trickling down his neck.

' _Blood?'_

The man leaned over and whispered.

"Abigail says hello" and a malicious smile spread across his face. He leaned over again and brought those lips on Dean's, using his tongue to open his mouth.

And he wanted to close it; he wanted to scream. But he couldn't. He felt the man's tongue in his mouth, kissing him while the other one pulled his hair.

Then he stopped as suddenly as he had begun. He wiped his lips and licked his fingers lustfully.

"I'll be seeing you very soon Dean" his voice echoed in the room and left silently.

Dean's mind didn't have the time to register what had happened, because whatever had been injected to him was starting to take effect.

He felt like hot iron spikes were piercing every molecule of his body. He felt pain from the outside but from the inside as well; like someone was using blunt scissors to cut his skin.

And he wanted to scream.

He wanted to die.

How strange it was that in a moment like this, he wished for the bleeding man. He wished he was here with him.

All his body was able to do was shed one tear that soon rolled down and vanished onto the pillow.

. . .

Sweet little words made for silence not talk  
Young heart for love not heartache  
Dark hair for catching the wind  
Not to veil the sight of a cold world

Kiss while your lips are still red  
While he's still silent  
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled  
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool  
Drown into eyes while they're still blind  
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

First day of love never comes back  
A passionate hour's never a wasted one  
The violin, the poet's hand  
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care

Kiss while your lips are still red  
While he's still silent  
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled  
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool  
Drown into eyes while they're still blind  
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

-Nightwish: While You Lips Are Still Red-


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Dr. Matthews had advised them the go home and get some rest. Dean wouldn't be waking up until much later that night and they would keep him under observation till morning.

So little did they know.

Roman and Seth left the hospital. Ice and snow covered everything and it would only get worse during the night. They contemplated taking the car back to the hotel but the worsening weather made them decide against it. So they decided to take a taxi.

They were making their way through the parking lot, towards the exit when Roman slowed down his pace and then stopped.

"What's wrong?" Seth came closer.

Roman was frowning, his eyes half angry, half surprised and his fists were clenched tightly.

"Hey… what's the matter?" he asked again, touching him in his shoulder.

"Something… something's wrong… I have a funny taste in my mouth"

"Like what?"

"Like…" he looked at Seth but before he could say anything more he doubled over in pain.

Seth could not stop his fall on the snowy ground. Roman was holding his neck, gasping for air.

"Roman" Seth yelled and knelt beside him, trying to figure out what was happening. He tried to pry his hands away from his neck, but the grip was too tight. Suddenly, the Samoan gasped for air loudly but Rollins figured it wasn't from the pain but from the relief, since whatever that was, it had stopped as fast as it had began.

That left the two friends on the ground, one on his knees and one on his back, panting.

"What… was that?"

"I don't know. Suddenly, I had a fowl taste in my mouth, like blood and rotting flesh. Then I felt someone chocking me… I couldn't breathe… then it stopped. I felt a sharp pain on the side of my neck"

"And?"

"And nothing. It stopped.

"Let me see" Seth leaned closer and helping him in his feet took a look closer.

"See anything?"

He took out his cell phone and used the flashlight app th see better.

"There is a small hole on your neck…" he touched it lightly."Feel that?"

"It sort of hurts, but only a little"

"No…"Seth breathed out in surprise.

"What?"

"It's fading… the hole… it's gone… it was right here and now it is gone…"

"What?"

"I swear!" he looked as his friend in shock. "What is going on man?"

Roman touched the skin on his neck but felt no pain.

"We can't go on like this" Seth added exasperated.

"I still feel bad… still have the taste in my mouth but…"

His friend looked at him worried.

"I feel helpless, terrified and hopeless" he shivered then froze, as a cold thought stuck in his brain.

Dean.

And started running back towards the hospital with Seth in tow.

"Roman… wait…"

Seth tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen. Roman never did in cases such as these and Seth was getting nervous about what his friend was going to do.

Such was their hurry, they didn't notice a tall man glaring at them from the other side of the lobby, half hidden behind a column. When the two men entered the elevator, the unknown man left without looking back.

The lady at the front desk starred at him and wondered how strange this man was. She couldn't figure out what was bothering her about him. It was when the doors closed behind him she realized what it was.

The man made no sound as he moved.

'Silent as a grave' she thought and shivering, returned to her work, without ever noticing the two friends sneak past her.

. . .

Naturally the door was locked. Like in all psychiatric wards, the patients were not allowed to walk free; they were dangerous to others and to themselves.

Not that Dean could exit or even walk for that matter; his body was still paralyzed from the injection.

But the silence was deafening. So deafening in fact that it played tricks on him. His ears were buzzing and it was so strange because he knew there was no real source for the low frequency noise he was experiencing.

The encounter with the man a few minutes ago had left him with questions, a more bruised neck, a painful throat, wide eyes and an open mouth that tasted like death.

But none of these mattered now. What that man had done to him didn't matter; the bruises didn't matter.

Because the buzzing was slowly getting louder and it was changing; it was pulsating along with the lights all around him that switched on and off with every pulse. And with every beat, Dean could sense the room changing around him, becoming darker and smaller. The smell had turned drastically as well and he identified it as rotting flesh and warm blood. He didn't understand how he knew but he was very familiar with it and how dangerous it was.

He was alarmed and alert but very afraid. His eyes could barely blink at the ceiling while his tear stained face could not move a muscle.

Then the sound changed again, slowly, from pulsating to the familiar bubbling, gurgling sound. Only this time it sounded like someone was drowning in boiling thick liquid. Dean felt his breathing getting faster and his throat getting parched from thirst. He tried to close his eyes but to no avail.

Still those walls were closing in, almost crushing him.

And as he was looking hopelessly up, the ceiling started to burn; no singes but whole waves of flames scorching the material swiftly, melting it like a napalm bomb.

The heat emanating was choking him and he thought for a moment that maybe his skin was melting too or at least it was blistering.

It was at this moment that he truly wished for death.

But among the noise of the flames and the searing pain, he heard a voice coming from behind him; from the headboard.

"No death for you…"

An old female voice spoke with spite in his ears while the same gurgling sounds kept coming from among the uttered words.

Dean felt her presence next to his head, just inches out of sight.

All he could do was slightly move a cheek muscle when he felt bony fingers with sharp nails touching the skin of his forehead. The rough fingers caressed his cheek and went up again to his forehead but he still couldn't see her.

Then the nails dug deep in his skin, tearing the flesh all the way to his brain.

"No death for you" she repeated. "You will pay for all you're done. There will be no mercy for you… ever…"

And if he could scream, he would have.

A long time ago.

. . .

The halls were empty at that time, as it was expected and preferable. It was always better not to have crowds and audiences for those kinds of things. They needed to be silent, discreet and fast.

Visiting hours were over and the hospital tended to follow that rule, especially in the psychiatric ward.

Seth tried keeping up with Roman but he looked so terrified and determined, so he followed him to the sub level.

The lights had been dimmed in the hallways, giving them a more sinister feeling than they ought to have.

And it was by pure luck that no one spotted them on their way to Dean's room. As soon as they reached it, Seth stayed a little behind, looking out for any nurses or security guards, while Roman approached the door.

He peaked inside from the reinforced small glass opening.

Of course the curtain that divided the two beds had been drawn again, making it impossible for him to see Dean. He was completely blocked from view. He was about to try the door handle when Seth got his attention.

"Hey" he was barely audible when he motioned to Roman that someone was coming and asked silently what to do. Roman pointed at his wrist, signaling for more time.

' _What are you doing man?'_ he thought but they were here now. They had gotten this far already and he trusted Roman… with his life.

Seth looked back and peaked again. A male nurse was coming towards them, holding stack of papers, bed sheets and towels. From his waist hang a magnetic key card.

From behind him, Seth could hear his friend trying in vain to open the door to the room. He had to do something and buy them more time. He peaked back towards the hallway and was about to launch himself to the nurse, tackle him and immobilize him.

He was quickly weighing his options, trying to decide which hold to apply, when he heard a cell phone ring. Both friends froze and looked at each other in panic.

It was none of their phones.

"Shit" he heard the nurse curse under his breath. His hands were already full of stuff that made it impossible for him to reach his phone that was deep in his pocket. The nurse tried to stack all the things on one hand, his left one and attempted to pull it out of his right one. Unfortunately, the phone was in his left pocket and as he was trying to juggle all of this and reach across his torso, the fabric of his pants stretched and the key card fell on the floor. And he would have noticed it had it not been for him losing his balance and dumping all the items he was holding on the floor. Towels, bed sheets and papers spread across the tiles. The nurse cursed loudly and started picking them up, while finally answering his damned phone.

Seth could not hear his conversation nor believe his luck. He just squatted and waited, never taking his eyes off the key card that had slipped a few feet away from him. He motioned to Roman to be quiet.

Maybe the nurse would forget.

And sure enough, he did. Or rather he had never even noticed it was missing. He picked up the things, jumbled papers and bundles of the now dirty pieces of fabric and made his way back to where he had come from, still talking on the phone.

Seth waited till the doors closed behind him and sprinted in the hallway, grabbing the card from behind a flower pot and ran back to Roman.

"Use this"

Roman used the key card and the door unlocked with a hollow sound. They entered hastily and closed the door behind them. Then they had their first deep breath in a while; just trying to put their heartbeat under control. But abruptly the Samoan, stopped and looked around.

"What is that smell?" Roman asked.

"I don't smell anything. What is it?"

"Really? It smells like burnt plastic… it's so strong"

Both realized that only he could smell whatever that was; like before, Roman was the only one who could feel anything related to Dean.

They didn't draw the curtain. Instead they walked around and hid behind it, away from the door's view.

Dean still lay there. His eyes were opened wide, frantically looking around.

"Why is he awake? Didn't the doctor give him a sedative?"

Roman came close and leaned over the bed.

"Hey, it's me… Roman" he whispered but all Dean could do was stare at him. "Don't be afraid. We're here to help you"

And for just one moment, one frozen second in time, Dean's eyes changed. They weren't panicked, they weren't empty. They were begging him; they were looking straight into his eyes, his soul and they were asking him…

 _For what?_

Roman's heart melted and he knelt beside him.

"What's wrong? Tell me… I'm here for you... I came back for you…" and caressed his head.

Dean looked at him, still unable to speak but with tears streaming down his face.

He was begging.

"What do you want us to do? Please…"

Seth approached.

"Someone is coming… we have to hide"

Roman hid under the bed, curled as best as he could near the head, while Seth hid into a closet. It was a too small closet for the doors to close completely with him in it but he prayed that whoever was coming, wouldn't turn on the lights.

And so they hid, stood still and held their breaths.

Dr. Matthews entered the room and walked towards Dean. He stood at the foot of the bed and looked at him. And Dean looked back with anger and hatred.

"You hate me, don't you?" The doctor asked not really expecting an answer. "I did what I had to… it's all your fault… and his…"

He walked to the side of the bed, making Roman inch a little further away. He was so close to the doctor's feet and he was not liking what he was hearing. He was ready to jump at him and break those damned legs.

Dr. Matthews leaned over and whispered to Dean.

"He's coming for you tonight… and you're going to wish for death… but he's not going to give it to you. She has prohibited it. Your life is hers for the taking. Goodbye… guardian."

With those words, he left, leaving the friends in the room stunned. Hesitantly, they exited from their hideouts and approached the bed.

"He knows!" Seth tried to keep his voice low.

"We have to get him out of here. I don't know who he is or what he wants, but we can't leave Dean in this place."

Seth agreed despite his logic telling him that in the eyes of the law, this would be kidnapping. They had seen too many strange things and even stranger men in the past to let rationality reign. They didn't have time. Once again things were escalating quickly and they had to make fast decisions based in instinct alone.

"How do we do that? We can't simply walk out of here with Dean"

"What if I carry him down to the garage and then outside? There must be a way out of there."

"I'll move the car near the garage exit. It's late. Maybe no one will see you getting out from there."

Roman agreed. It was a sloppy plan, one where everything could go wrong, but the doctor's words left them no choice. Whoever was coming, wanted to hurt Dean.

He approached him and whispered ever so gently.

"I'm going to get you out of here… no one's going to hurt you again"

Dean didn't seem to register what he was hearing. He kept looking at Roman, eyes begging him. The Samoan noticed that his breathing had become faster.

"Calm down. I'm going to carry you but you're going to have to be quiet"

Seth left the room and Roman followed him with Dean in his arms. They were surprised at how he wasn't reacting to his touch. Whatever he had been given, it wasn't a sedative. Seth had a vague idea what it was. A paralytic agent; and they had to hurry out of there. There was no way of telling how Dean would react should it start to wear off. They couldn't afford another episode.

They made it to the stairs.

There they split up. Seth gave the key to Roman; maybe he would need it to access the employee's garage.

"Roman… be careful. Go as fast as you can. We don't know how long Dean is going to stay quiet. You go down to the garage and then up towards the exit. I'll be waiting for you there."

He looked at Dean who had not taken his eyes off the Samoan. He started to climb while Roman made his way down. A sign on the wall showed him the employee's garage was two more floors down. With every flight of stairs Roman took, he had to pause a little to listen for anybody that might be coming his way. With Dean in his arms, he couldn't afford to go too fast. He might be injured but he was still full grown man of more than 200 pounds and there was so much distance he could cover before losing his breath.

A few minutes later, they reached the garage level. Roman's legs were shaking, he was sweating and out of breath. He stood behind the door, trying to calm his nerves. He looked at Dean. He too was breathing fast, as if they had run down the stairs together. Never had he taken his eyes off of him though and Roman noticed Dean's hand clasping his shirt tightly, hanging on.

But while before his eyes were begging for something, now they were looking at him in disbelief and pain.

"We're almost there… almost" he panted. He adjusted Dean in his arms, trying to lessen his shaking, straining muscles. He was about to open the door when he felt Dean tense and swiftly turning his eyes towards the door. Roman quickly caught on and whispered.

"Someone's coming"

He looked around in panic. There was no place he could hide. The door opened towards the garage and it was a matter of seconds before they would be seen.

"Here goes nothing"

He held Dean tighter and positioned himself directly in front of the door. He could hear footsteps coming from the other side, the distinct sound of men's moccasins against the concrete. The door had no window, so they couldn't see who or how many were coming.

They saw the door move and Roman felt Dean tense more.

He didn't wait any longer. The door had opened a few inches when the tall man launched himself shoulder first, ramming it against it and hitting whoever was coming on the other side straight in the face. Roman heard a man hit the ground and nothing else. Reluctantly he peaked behind the door and saw none other than Dr. Matthews lying on the dirty concrete, a huge bruise on his forehead. And for some reason, he felt such satisfaction it had been him.

"Bye doc" he smirked and stepping over, he kept walking.

Thankfully the garage was empty from any other people but still Roman kept walking along the wall, taking partial cover behind cars and columns. Once in a while he looked down and with each glance he could see the effects of the injection slowly wearing off. He noticed first the muscles on his face twitching and his teeth gritting. They had to get away before Dean found his voice and started screaming.

He was half way out when he felt him pushing away. He didn't have too much strength yet, just enough to squirm and begin shaking.

"Hold on… we're almost there"

He tightened his grip around him. He made his way to the last level of the garage and hid behind a wide column. Dean was shaking and twitching with more force. His eyes were closed tightly trying to get his body under control and build a wall around his mind. But he was failing miserably. Roman leaned against the wall, hiding from some cars entering the garage.

Dean's shaking was becoming increasingly bad. They had to keep quiet. They were near the exit and there were some people there. For some time, it seemed like there would be no way out, not without being seen. He looked at Dean; eyes still closed but thankfully he was not pushing him away. He was cowering in fear, like a scared animal, recoiling against its cage. Roman knew how dangerous this could be. He wrapped his arms tighter and brought his lips close to Dean's face. So close, he could smell him…

"Shhh… it's ok… don't be afraid… it's going to be alright" he kept repeating in a gentle, soothing voice.

And to his surprise, he felt Dean's muscles relax and his frown recede. Still he kept his eyes closed and Roman thought it was probably for the best.

A few seconds passed and he dared a peak. The bad weather and the late hour gave them an advantage. He decided to make a run for it. He only hoped Seth was somewhere near waiting for them in the car. He leaned once more and whispered.

"Keep your eyes closed and hold on. We're getting out of here"

He wanted to smile when he felt Dean's hand once more clasp his shirt once again. Taking a deep breath, he turned around the column and started running up the concrete ramp. His arms and legs were so tired and painful, his breathing became louder with every step.

He was half way up the ramp when he heard someone yell just a few feet behind him.

"Hey you… stop it right there!"

With a quick glance, Roman saw a security guard running towards him. He didn't have a gun but he had nightstick firmly gripped in his large, thick hand. Roman picked up his pace, now audibly grunting as the weight in his arms seemed to grow heavier.

He reached the top and took one quick sweep around. He couldn't afford to lose time; the guard was almost upon them. Seth was nowhere to be seen. Arbitrarily he decided to go left, away from too many lights. He kept Dean close to his chest to shelter him from the freezing cold. He was wearing his jacket but Dean was in a thin hospital gown; and he could feel his body temperature drop by the second. He needed to find Seth and the car; his strength wouldn't last much longer and neither would Dean.

He slowed down, not able to run any more. Adrenaline had given him a boost of energy and he had lost the security guard.

"Where are you Seth?" he looked around. "Fuck… come on!"

Suddenly he felt Dean's body stiffen and he opened his eyes in fear and disgust. Roman looked down and saw Dean looking straight into his eyes.

"He's here" he breathed ominously.

A cold voice with a thick accent came from somewhere behind him, from within the deep shadows, startling him.

"Hello"

He couldn't see who it was but that accent was very familiar. He turned towards the source but it took a few moments to discern the frame of a man approaching them. As the man came closer and closer, Roman's instincts made him back step.

Finally, the man came into the light with a huge smile across his face and long wild hair over his eyes.

"Drew?" he asked not understanding what's going on. "Drew McIntyre? What are you doing here?"

The crazed look in his eyes was not something that could be faked; nor was the creepy malicious smile. His tongue licked his lips and took another step forward.

"That" he pointed at Dean "is mine"

The calmness of his voice and the coldness with which he had uttered the word 'that', made Roman take another step back, tightening his arms around his precious cargo.

Drew reached out his hand, palm up, his smile becoming a dangerous smirk.

"No" he mumbled and took another step.

"Hand it over or you die" Drew lowered his hand and all smirk vanished from his face. He squared his shoulders and flexed his muscles, ready to attack.

There was nothing in between them save a few feet of snow. But just as Drew was about to launch himself forth, a loud squeak came from behind Roman, making him turn quickly.

"Get in!" Seth screamed from inside the car and opened the passenger's door. Roman was fast in throwing Dean inside the car but before he could get in, Drew grabbed him from behind the neck and spun him around. However, the Samoan was quick. He head-butted Drew's nose, lying him flat on his back and as the pain and before the dizziness could set in, he managed to get in the car, holding his head.

"What the hell man! Who was that?" Seth asked, looking back to check on his friend.

"Drew McIntyre" he wheezed out and the car finally made it out of the hospital and into the snowy, heavy night.

. . .

Whatever you do, don't ever play my game  
Too many years being the king of pain  
You gotta lose it all if you wanna take control  
Sell yourself to save your soul

Rescue me from the demons in my mind  
Rescue me from the lovers in my life  
Rescue me from the demons in my mind  
Rescue me, rescue me, rescue me  
Rescue me

Whatever you do, don't ever lose your faith  
The devil's quick to love, lust and pain  
Better to say yes to never know, oh, oh  
Sell yourself to save your soul

Rescue me from the demons in my mind  
Rescue me from the lovers in my life  
Rescue me from the demons in my mind  
Rescue me, rescue me, rescue me  
Rescue me

Sell yourself to save your soul 

Rescue me from the demons in my mind  
Rescue me from the lovers in my life  
Rescue me from the demons in my mind  
Rescue me, rescue me, rescue me

-30 Seconds To Mars: Rescue Me-


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

It was a dream.

Wasn't it?

It had to be because the things he was seeing made no sense.

Not that he was able to make any sense ever since he had woken up in that field. He had been lying on the bed, trying to will himself out of his miserable reality.

Because the reality was unbearable. He had shut down before, when things had gotten scary. But THEY had brought him back from his dreamless slumber.

And for what?

For him to burn forever, strapped in this room? To be tortured by this doctor and that evil man?

To be ripped apart time and time again?

By her?

He felt like he was stuck in a never ending nightmare. He still couldn't see her face but he could feel her sharp nails digging into his brain, moving things around; shifting everything out of place. And all he could do was stare up at the burning ceiling, smell the burnt plastic, the scorched walls and taste the foulness of bile and blood running from his mouth down his throat.

And that voice!

Her voice echoed in his head, a boiling, thick sound that pierced his ears and hurt him as much as her fingernails.

He felt the veins in his neck pumping his blood and his heart beating irregularly. And then he surprised himself, wishing for the bleeding man a second time.

'How strange' he wondered that at the mere thought of the bleeding man he could almost hear him calling.

Pity he couldn't answer back; pity he couldn't turn and look at him. But he could feel him coming closer…

And so could she.

If Dean could smile he would have. Because amongst the torture and her screeching, he heard a door open and immediately she recoiled, retracting her claws away, giving him some respite. Then he saw him above him… the bleeding man was there and he had saved him from her.

Why?

He looked down at him with so much love! His eyes shone so bright, and for just one moment he wasn't the demon any more… he wasn't the bleeding man. For just one moment Dean felt like he had known him all his life; and he wanted to speak, ask him to take him away from this place.

The demonic face above him showed nothing but care, love and concern. Dean could see that he was speaking to him but he was unable to understand any of it. His ears were still ringing.

Then the world shifted and above him stood the face of that infernal doctor. If he could move, Dean doubted that this man would still be alive. He felt his hands on his face and for a moment he thought that he would be as perverse as the other one who had force-kissed him.

Words were spoken at him but still he couldn't understand or hear anything, just the constant drumming and his blood pumping faster and faster.

Then he left… thankfully. Dean had gotten ready for more pain but none had come.

Then he felt hands on him again, not hard, forceful or violent, but careful and loving ones. His bleeding man was here again, and at that instant Dean didn't care if he was there to hurt him. He knew he could never hurt him as much as she had. He knew just by looking into his eyes that he wouldn't hurt him.

He saw the man lean above him and carefully lifting him up in his arms.

Then the room started to spin and the noise in his ears picked up its pace and increased its volume tenfold. That infernal screaming was coming back as well. Everything was coming back.

She was coming back.

Time was such a strange thing for him nowadays. Dean had a vague sense of being carried out of the bed and down some stairs but he just couldn't take his eyes off of him. There was something different about this bleeding man, something comforting… something that could take the pain away.

All of it.

Everything was a haze. He wanted to believe it was not a dream; that this was reality; that his mind wasn't playing games; that this wasn't a ploy of Abigail to fuck him up. He wanted to make sure that this was real, so he grabbed the man's shirt and held onto to it for dear life.

And he was so strange; so different. The bleeding man he had met many times before was bloodied, disgusting and vengeful. This one was clean, caring and loving. But he was the same man… the same one who had tried to kill him so many times before; the one who had brought him to the brink of insanity.

He was the bleeding man but at the same time he was different.

Suddenly Dean felt a sharp pain coursing from his chest all the way up to the back of his head. A sharp stabbing that made his muscles tense and his eyes close. It didn't come from the man who was holding him but he pushed him away all the same, trying to protect him. He didn't want him to suffer for him. But he had little strength in him. The drugs were wearing off but there was still enough in his system.

No.

This was coming from something else. And it was scary.

The pain grew and grew and soon he found himself shaking, lost from reality and unable to open his eyes.

But then…

A touch…

Whispers…

And the pain subsided enough to allow him another glance. The man who was carrying him seemed to understand that they didn't have much time. Whatever he was telling him, Dean knew from the look in his eyes that he felt it too. The urgency to leave.

That someone was coming.

Then he felt the freezing cold and one look told him that they had made it outside the hospital. It was night and it was so cold it almost hurt.

They were running and there was shouting.

When had he started hearing again?

As exhilarating as leaving this place was, Dean could not help but suddenly feel like drowning again; like darkness was creeping up on him like black tar, thick and scotching hot; like a hand was squeezing his stomach. And he felt sick.

His heart sank and he held onto his savior's shirt for dear life. He had to warn him. Dean knew what these feelings meant. He had had them before. Not long ago.

The bleeding man looked down.

With much effort Dean looked deep into his eyes and gritting his teeth, breathed.

"He's here"

. . .

" _Drew"_

. . .

" _Drew McIntyre?"_

. . .

"What the hell, man? What happened? Who was that?" Seth asked not having actually seen that man who had attacked his friends. He had been too busy driving around looking for them while trying not to let the car get off the road due to the snow and the ever slippery ice.

It had been a miracle he had found them and even a bigger one he had managed to stop at the right place at the right moment.

Roman had thrown Dean inside the car right next to Seth and he had all but jumped in the car after having head-butted Drew.

"Drew McIntyre"

He was their enemy. He had revealed himself and they had managed to get away.

For now.

"What the fuck!" Seth exclaimed trying to digest the fact that once again their foe was someone they knew and worked with.

Upon exiting the hospital grounds, Seth slowed down his driving and fell silent.

Roman was still holding his head and attempting to contain his growing headache.

Dean was out of it. His limp body was transported to the back seat with Roman once more hovering above him.

"Is he ok?" Seth looked back momentarily.

"I don't know. We have to get off the streets and regroup"

"Back to the hotel?" he suggested.

"I don't think we can go back to the hotel. Not after what we've done… what I've done…" he trailed off.

Roman looked at Dean who seemed to be asleep. But he knew better. He wasn't sleeping… he was drifting further and further away from him; away from reality.

He was fading away.

And he had to find a way to get him back. For a moment they had connected and he just had to find a way to fix that connection no matter what it might cost him. Maybe that could be the way to get back the Dean he knew before all this hell happened. He didn't care about any answers as to why he came back or how. He just wanted him back.

The realization of he had done started to slowly creep in. In the eyes of the law, he was a criminal.

The police would be looking for him for kidnapping.

And there were probably cameras that had caught him on tape carrying a half drugged Dean down the stairs.

Attacking the doctor, hitting him with the door…

'Fuck!'

There was nowhere they could go.

No help was coming their way. No one was on their side. No one would believe them anyway. He looked at Seth who was driving carefully on the slippery streets. He couldn't drag him into this. If there were cameras in the hospital they had probably caught only him carrying Dean.

And if there weren't any, he couldn't let him destroy his life and his career, brothers or not. It would be too selfish of Roman to allow him to do that. And he would resist. He would never allow them to go on their own.

He loved them too much. He was loyal to a fault.

Roman knew deep down that his own career was probably over as was his life. It had been over ever since he had lost Dean to the Balance. But he didn't regret it. He was ready to give up anything for him.

Anything.

But he wouldn't allow Seth to go down the rabbit hole with them.

Seth pulled up at their hotel. It wasn't crowded but it wasn't exactly empty either. It didn't have a garage, so they drove further down the street and made a right turn into a narrower one. He found a spot where no street light shone and parked the car.

"I am going up and get our stuff. Give me your room key…"

Roman handed the key to his room numbly.

"I won't be long. Stay here. I'll come back with our things and then we can get out of here"

Roman wanted to ask where would they go, but he realized it didn't matter anyway. Seth wouldn't be going with them. He looked at Seth sadly as he walked away. He looked down at Dean. His breathing was shallow and unstable. They couldn't afford to stay here much longer. He didn't have a plan; he simply knew they had to leave this place and vanish from everyone and everything; go somewhere far away and try to figure things out.

Maybe the distance and the solitude would be enough to bring Dean back to him.

But something in his gut told him that this was just a dream. Drew appearing at the hospital had complicated things and if he trusted his intuition, they would have to deal with him sooner or later. He only hoped it would be later, just so Dean could get some of his strength back.

Maybe he would have some of the answers.

Roman knew that Drew definitely had some of them. But answers, just like truth, are subjective. He had learned that a long time ago. People often told lies, and even more often, half truths, bent just enough to satisfy their needs and achieve their goals. There was no way he would be able to trust anything that would come out of Drew's mouth, considering the way he had looked at Dean and the way he had spoken his words.

He looked at the front of the car and saw the car keys still in the ignition. He didn't want to linger much here. Every minute that passed was another doubt creeping in his heart. Doubt that he wouldn't be able to make it; save Dean on his own. He stepped over the seat and sat on the driver's seat.

His hand touched the keys and was about to start the engine, when a loud knocking against the glass window startled him.

Gasping, he turned and looked outside to meet the angry and betrayed gaze of Seth.

"Where the fuck do you think you are going?" he yelled and opened the door allowing Roman to step outside.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" he stumbled on his words.

"Fuck you man… you were going to go away without me… leave me behind!"

Roman simply closed his eyes and breathed deeply; then he nodded. When he opened his eyes again he saw Seth looking so hurt.

"I… I just don't want you to ruin your life over this… what I've done tonight… there is no way back from this. The police will be looking for me and I have no intention in going back"

"What are you talking about?"

"Seth! I kidnapped Dean" he almost yelled and looked around to check if anyone had heard him. "Do you think that nobody is going to come looking? We didn't even think to check for cameras… it won't take them long to figure things out…listen…" he paused and looked at his friend. "My life… my career is over… it's been that way for a long time… but yours doesn't have to be… because if you do this then you become an accomplice. And I don't want to see you throw away everything you have accomplished."

Seth took a step back, offended and refusing to believe what he was hearing.

"So let me go… walk away and let me go… before things get ugly"

"I can't believe you… you really think I am going to leave you alone in this? After everything we've been through! I have bled for this… for him…" he pointed at Dean, "and for you" he stepped closer poking Roman's chest.

He was on the verge of tears.

"This is MY life! This is MY choice!" he continued, raising his voice. "You don't get a say in this."

"Seth, this is dangerous… and I have a feeling it's not going to end well for us… so I'm begging you… save yourself"

"Don't insult me like this, man! Do you think you are not worth it? Roman, I love you two…you are my brothers. I would do anything for you, and I know you would do the same for me." He grabbed him by the shoulders. "So please, don't do this. Don't go without me." The last words came out almost a whisper. "If Drew is coming for you, then this is not the time to separate. We need to stick together"

Roman stayed silent. His heart had beat fast in his chest. There was nothing he could say to Seth to change his mind. He knew how stubborn he could be, especially when it came to loyalty. He had hoped at leaving unnoticed. It would break his heart, but he would at least be safe. He hadn't seen Drew's eyes back in the hospital. They were so demented and so perverted! More than Bray ever was.

But on the other hand he knew he would need Seth's help and support further down the line. Somehow he knew that whatever their future would bring, it would be dangerous… maybe deadly. And he didn't want to have anyone's death on his conscience.

"So I am going back to the hotel, get out stuff. And I am begging you… please wait for me."

He didn't wait for an answer. Seth knew that Roman had a choice to make; he only hoped he would make the right one. He realized that the way things had escalated the last few hours, dangerous things were afoot. And if he left them alone, he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself should anything terrible occur. He loved them too damn much for this. They had been so much together; all that pain and suffering had formed a connection between them. That connection was more intense between Roman and Dean, but there was no denying that all three where now linked in the tangled web of the Balance. And to his mind, there was no escaping.

He didn't want to either.

He walked away, leaving Roman behind with a choice to make.

Leave him behind.

Wait for him and fight together.

. . .

Seth entered the hotel lobby and briskly walked to the elevators without being bothered by anyone.

He gathered his and Roman's things, and within thirty minutes, he was making his way down. He was not as quick as he wanted, being held back by the weight of the two suitcases he was carrying. As the elevators opened again to the lobby he didn't take two steps when he came face to face with the man they had tried so desperately to avoid.

Drew.

For a moment Seth thought he couldn't breathe. Such was the intensity of his gaze and the hate he was emanating, he forgot to even blink. As he was towering him, Seth realized there was really nowhere he could go with those heavy suitcases.

"Good evening Seth" his thick Scottish accent became creepier with that smug smile. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

Still Seth couldn't utter a word. He looked at those shining eyes and knew that something was wrong. He had to speak, say something… anything.

"Get lost" he found himself saying, which immediately thought was the wrong thing to say as Drew's eyes shone even brighter. He laughed hard, letting his head fall back. Then looked back.

"Cute"

Then all smile faded from his face, replaced by anger.

"Where is he?"

"I… I don't know what you're talking about" Seth blatantly lied and looked around for anyone or anything that might help him.

"HE… IS… MINE" he pronounced every word carefully. "And if you want your life, you'll tell me where he is"

At that point Seth decided to change his strategy. He smiled wide and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" he flashed that wide smirk he knew Drew hated so much.

But the answer came simple and soft.

"Yes"

Seth's mind screamed. He had to escape him.

Without hesitation or second thought he kicked Drew in the groin, and leaving the suitcases behind, made a run for the exit. As he was leaving, he turned around expecting to find Drew on the floor, writhing in pain, holding his balls.

Instead, he was met with the vengeful eyes of a man who had already shaken off the pain and was ready to come after him.

"Fuck" he mumbled and almost crashed on the glass doors. He hoped that Roman was still there, because he was certain that Drew would catch up to him in no time. He had to get to the car.

He got out of the hotel almost falling on his ass due to the slippery pavement. He managed to stay up and run down the street, making the right turn to the narrower street. Thankfully the car was still there waiting for him. Roman was by the driver's seat looking around for anything suspicious when he spotted Seth running frantically.

"Get in the car" he yelled at the Samoan. "Start the fucking car!"

He wasted no time. He entered and started the engine. Seth was almost there, when Roman looked in the rear view mirror and saw Drew sprinting towards them, only a few feet behind.

"Shit"

He started the car and as Seth all but jumped inside, stepped on the gas without waiting for him to shut the door.

All Drew managed to do was bang his hand on the back window, cracking it but not breaking it, as the car sped away.

Roman kept driving, keeping his eyes on the rear view mirror half expecting to see Drew still behind them, running like the devil.

"I suppose you left the suitcases behind…" he noted, still keeping his eyes on the street behind them.

"You think?!" The sarcasm didn't go unnoticed by the Samoan. "I was just coming down when he ambushed me by the elevators."

"Did he say anything?"

"Yeah… he wanted to know where HE is. That HE is his… I am assuming he was talking about Dean"

"And then?"

"Then I kicked him in the balls and ran like hell"

He didn't respond. Instead he turned his eyes ahead and squeezed the wheel. They had left all their clothes behind. They had nothing but the clothes on their backs, their wallets and their phones; and those would be dead soon.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know" the Samoan answered. "Anywhere but here"

So they kept driving into the night and away from the city. Outside the snowfall had escalated to a blizzard and in the backseat Dean was no longer asleep. He had woken up the moment Drew had made his presence known to Seth. He just had been unable to move.

He had his eyes open and his gaze fixed on the cracked, ice covered, window.

Soon the cold and the howling of the blizzard became unbearable. He found his vision blurring and his mind closing in, mercifully reverting once more into darkness.

. . .

Steel to my tremblin' lips  
How did the night ever get like this?  
One shot and the whiskey goes down, down, down  
Bottom of the bottle hits  
Waking up my mind as I throw a fit  
The breakin' is takin' me down, down, down

My heart's beating faster  
I know what I'm after

I've been standing here my whole life  
Everything I've seen twice  
Now it's time I realized  
It's spinning back around now  
On this road I'm crawlin'  
Save me 'cause I'm fallin'  
Now I can't seem to breathe right  
'Cause I keep runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' from my heart

'Round and around I go  
Addicted to the numb livin' in the cold  
The higher, the lower, the down, down, down  
Sick of being tired and sick  
And ready for another kind of fix  
The damage is damning me down, down, down

My heart's beating faster  
I know what I'm after

I've been standing here my whole life  
Everything I've seen twice  
Now it's time I realized  
It's spinning back around now  
On this road I'm crawlin'  
Save me 'cause I'm fallin'  
Now I can't seem to breathe right  
'Cause I keep runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' from my heart

Oh, I'm coming alive  
Oh, I'll wake up now and live  
Oh, I'm coming alive  
A life that's always been a dream  
I'll wake up now and live

I've been standing here my whole life 

My heart's beating faster  
I know what I'm after

I've been standing here my whole life  
Everything I've seen twice  
Now it's time I realized  
It's spinning back around now  
On this road I'm crawlin'  
Save me 'cause I'm fallin'  
Now I can't seem to breathe right  
'Cause I keep runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' from my heart  
'Cause I keep runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' runnin' runnin' runnin'  
Runnin' from my heart

-Adam Lambert: Runnin-


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

They drove for a long time. Just before leaving the city, they had stopped at an ATM and withdrew as much cash as they were allowed to. From now on, it would be unwise to use their credit cards.

The blizzard was still raging outside and when they entered the highway, for a while, they were pretty much the only vehicle in sight. And that was fine by them. They wanted to put as many miles behind them as possible.

They took turns driving while the other rest and kept an eye on Dean.

Dean.

It was Seth who noticed first that he was awake.

"Dean? Hey buddy... are you ok?" he leaned above him, but did not touch him.

Roman almost drove off the road. The car slipped dangerously but he managed to bring it to a halt by the side.

When he was able to put his breathing under control, he turned and looked back. Dean was awake, eyes wide, looking at the cracked window. He was barely blinking but his breaths were shallow and fast.

"There's something wrong… his eyes are open but he doesn't respond to anything" he told the Samoan. "It looks like he's back to that catatonic state he was found… we can't let him go there… he might not come back…"

Roman understood his friend's concerns and fears, so he reached out his hand. Maybe physical contact would produce a reaction. But Seth stopped him before he could do anything.

"No… Maybe we should wait till we are out of the road… somewhere safer?" It was not question, rather than an observation. Both could remember Dean's first reaction to Roman and both knew that they had been able to escape that hospital partly because Dean was drugged.

Roman looked back. He didn't want to wait but he knew they had to. He sat back down and breathed out. He looked at the road ahead. The headlights shone further down at a sign.

"This is it" he said attracting Seth's attention up ahead. "Once we cross the state lines, this…" he pointed behind him at Dean, "becomes a federal offence"

"Do you really think the FBI is going to come after us for kidnapping our friend?"

"Yes" Roman answered blatantly and squeezed the wheel tighter. He looked at him. "Last chance…"

"For what?"

"Leave… put all this behind you and get on with your life… not end up in jail… or worse…"

"Dude" Seth was clearly annoyed. He crossed his arms and looked ahead. He wasn't going anywhere. "How many times are we going to have this talk? I am not leaving you. I am with you… to the end."

"The end?"

"Yes!"

"Well… Let's hope it won't come to that"

Roman started the car and carefully drove off, taking a general north direction.

. . .

It was dawn when they came to a stop at a gas station. They needed provisions and gas for the car.

"I am going in to pay for the gas and grab us something to eat and drink. Want anything in particular?" Seth asked opening the door but Roman stopped him.

"Hey… be careful. Be quick about it. In and out"

Seth looked back not really understanding what he meant.

"Last time all three of us were at a gas station, Matt Hardy died."

Seth lowered his gaze, his stomach turning from the bitter memory. Hardy had made a sacrifice for the better of both worlds and it was such a pity no one would ever know about it. He had died protecting them in a place much like this; away from civilization, at dawn. It made his skin crawl too. He nodded sadly and left, leaving Roman alone with Dean.

The Samoan looked outside for a few seconds, waiting till Seth got into the gas station. The blizzard had stopped a few minutes ago and the sun was coming out from the east, casting bright orange and yellow sunrays across the sky. Maybe it would be enough to melt the ice.

He looked at Dean. His eyes were closed once again and his body lay limp on the backseat. He hoped he was sleeping. He reached out and for a moment he debated whether he should touch him or let him be.

Just a touch.

That's all he wanted.

Just one small caress, enough to make sure he was responsive.

Alive.

But what if he woke up and had a violent reaction? What would he do then? How could he incapacitate him? Punch him? He looked at how calm he was and his heart screamed for contact.

Ignoring his brain, he reached and brought his fingers to Dean's head. Maybe touch lightly the hair? Using the back of his fingers, he traced a few loose strands of hair that lay on his forehead. His skin felt so cold though, it took Roman by surprise. That light touch though stirred something inside him and he yearned for more. His heart ached. He had missed him so terribly. This was the first time he had been alone with Dean without anyone chasing them or watching them. This was the first time in three years he had time to look at him closely and take everything in.

Without thinking about it and relying purely on instinct, his fingers traveled down from Dean's forehead to the skin of his cheek. It too felt cold; colder than it should be. He opened his palm and cupped the side of his face in an effort to warm him up.

After all, Dean was still in a hospital gown, and they had no spare clothes for him but their jackets which they had used to cover him up a long time ago.

Roman was about to remove his hand, when he felt Dean move; and that made froze him in place. He found himself holding his breath; then he saw Dean turn slightly on his side and nuzzle his cheek deeper in Roman's palm. The skin of his cheek was rough and so very cold. He didn't have any clue what Dean had been through all those years he was gone and he certainly had no idea what he had been through the last few days, but whatever it was, it had left him in a really bad physical and mental shape. He prayed that Dean wouldn't remember whatever it was that had happened to him.

And judging from Dean's erratic behavior, he seriously doubted that.

He brought his other palm up to caress his other cheek and his heart skipped a beat when he felt Dean relax further under his touch, still keeping his eyes closed. He wondered if they would ever get to share the kiss they never had; if Dean would ever be able to remember him; if he would ever be able to return his feelings; remember how he felt about him; recall all the things that had been spoken and all those that had been left unsaid.

The regrets.

The pain and suffering that seemed to be following him his entire life.

Maybe it would be for the best if Dean never remembered his past. Perhaps a clean slate would be just the thing they needed. However the looming shadow of Drew McIntyre warned him to the contrary. If experience and memory served him well, they would soon cross paths again. They would soon have to deal with him once and for all. The outcome was what he feared though. This was not Bray Wyatt. They had no idea what his agenda was. All they knew is that he needed Dean.

But for what? For the life of him, he couldn't piece it together. And he hated feeling like this; out of control; in the dark. Because when the time would come, the time they would have to face Drew…

And that time would come…

He wanted to know all the rules of the game. He wanted to know all the limits, if there were any.

The door of the car opened abruptly and Seth got in, startling him. One look at the scene however made him understand and didn't say a word.

"I wanted to know… " Roman mumbled sadly.

Seth nodded understanding what he meant.

"And?" he asked after a few moments.

"He was cold… too cold… he leaned against my hand but didn't wake up… Seth" he paused. "Where are we going? We can't stay on the road much longer"

"I know. I have been thinking about it for a while and I don't think we have any other choice. There is a cabin further up north. My parents and I used to go there on vacation when I was little." His voice trailed off a little, his mind bringing up memories from his childhood.

"Won't they track us there?"

"No. It doesn't belong to my family. We used to rent it for a couple of months during the summer… It was cool up there and we wanted to get away from the city heat. We used to go there up until I was ten years old."

Roman looked outside.

Snow.

Right.

"Do you think it's still there? I mean, will the roads be open? I don't want us to go and get stuck in the snow in the car"

"We don't have a choice… it's that or south and I seriously doubt we can make it across the border to Mexico…"

"Ok… north it is…"

"I just hope the cabin is still there…"

Roman didn't answer to that last remark. Finally the nauseating feeling had started to set in, in his stomach; that they had acted on impulse, with no regard to anyone's safety; that the repercussions of what they had done were too grave and too unpredictable to comprehend at this point. He felt like a child who could only react to whatever was thrown in front of him; a child who failed to admit that what he had done was maybe a mistake…

Maybe.

Probably not.

Because his heart told him so; and he was done listening to reason and his brain that told him he was a criminal; that what he had done put all their three lives in danger. That he should be sorry for the damage he had done and all that he was going to. He really didn't care for his own life; he really didn't but he would be damned if he was going to let Seth or Dean pay for his actions.

His heart however told him that taking Dean away from that place had saved his life. He was so sure that they needed to be as far away from everyone else as possible. That same sinking feeling told him that whatever was coming their way, was massive, dangerous and very fast approaching.

And it would bring nothing but pain.

. . .

The cabin was far away; too far away, from any sort of civilization. They ended up driving for many hours across other state lines and never did they stop at a motel. All stops were made at gas stations for provisions, gas and at some point for clothes. Every time, it would be Seth alone to handle the transactions. They didn't want to risk Roman being recognized.

At one of the last stops, Seth returned to the car paler than a sheet of paper. He looked like he was about to hurl.

"What?" the Samoan asked alarmed.

Seth looked at him kind of lost and numb. He mumbled his words.

"They… they… we are on the news… they are looking for us…"

Roman didn't look that surprised.

"That didn't take them long" he tapped his fingers on the wheel, thinking too many things at once.

"There were photos of all three of us in the news… they said we are wanted for assaulting the doctor and kidnapping Dean… there was a press conference… there is a reward from the FBI…"

There was that feeling again.

He felt like vomiting. It was strange being this vulnerable. In the past few years, Seth was always the strong and reasonable one; he was the one who guided Roman most of the time. And he had believed him when he was told that the police would be looking for them.

It's just that now this had actually happened, he felt too lost and too scared. He had never had any problems with the law before, so this was a new and terrifying feeling.

"I hate to say it brother, but I told you so. I warned you this would happen."

"I know… I know… and I don't regret it. If I could go back in time, I would make the same choice to come with you…"

"But?"

"But nothing… It feels scary, you know? It feels wrong, being accused of something like that. I mean, how could they think we could hurt Dean like that?"

"Look at this from their perspective. There is Dean, who's vanished mysteriously and came back, equally mysteriously and then there's us… mainly me, who in the past three years have changed for the worst. Everyone knew I was a shadow of myself… and now, Dean comes back in this catatonic state and within a day or two, we take him and run away? I mean… it sure looks guilty"

"But we are not!"

Roman nodded.

"There is no way to prove anything. Even if Dean was awake and responsive, no one would believe us."

At the mention of Dean, they looked at the back seat. In the past hours, Dean was in and out of consciousness, but mostly he was out. With every passing moment, both men could see him fade a little bit. They knew they had to find some sort of shelter, but neither could think of what to do next. Safety came first.

"How far?" Roman asked.

"Not very… just a few miles down the road and then take the right exit towards Black Ridge River.

. . .

Black Ridge River was almost completely snowed in. Luckily their rental car came with snow chains and they were able to drive the last few miles to the cabin.

They exited the car and for a moment it felt like they were alone in the world. No sound reached their ears, not even the sound of the wind. A thick layer of fresh snow absorbed all possible sound. They took a few steps and found themselves knee deep in snow.

"I'm going to find a way in" Seth announced and walked to the cabin thinking if they should force their way through the front or the back door.

'Maybe both' he thought as he didn't want to be trapped in case someone 'undesirable' decided to show up.

Finding something to break the lock would be his challenge for now.

Roman stayed behind, got out of the car and looked around, taking in his surroundings. This place was beautiful and he wondered how long they would be able to use it as refuge. In the far distance, a small lake was visible, and he could imagine a very young Seth canon-balling in it during the summer. But right now it was frozen and he didn't want to know how solid the ice was. He was worried enough about everything else, to let this trouble him.

But he couldn't deny it was something to behold. Everything was white save for a few tree trunks and the fresh air lifted his spirits a little.

Only a little.

He opened the car door right above Dean's head and leaned over.

"Dean?" he whispered but nothing stirred. "We are here…"

But he kept his eyes shut. Roman caressed his hair gently and for a second time, Dean shifted.

"I wish you would open your eyes. There so much snow… everything is covered… you would love it… come on… open your eyes and look at me…"

He felt Dean recoil slightly under his touch and that's when Roman realized that he could hear everything he was saying; he was trying to shut the world out of his mind.

Ignore it enough and it becomes obsolete.

With a little luck it vanishes.

"Dean I am not going to hurt you… I am here to help you… I… I love you…"

These last worlds came out unforced and without thought; they were pure emotion and they felt like the softest touch to Dean's heart strings.

"No… please…"

Roman froze upon hearing these words, fingers seemingly stuck against his skin. His racing heart, felt ready to explode. In the distance and through the sudden buzzing in his ears, he could faintly hear Seth banging something against metal.

"Dean please, look at me. I would never hurt you… ever. I'd rather die than hurt you"

And that froze Dean in place. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and furiously looked at Roman looming above him, startling him back on his feet. Dean sat up on his knees and kept his eyes on him, angry, his body shaking and his face muscles twitching.

"What do you want from me? Stop messing with me! Stop playing games with me!" he yelled breaking the eerie silence. He brought his hands and covered his ears, shutting his eyes firmly. "Stop hurting me" he uttered through greeted teeth.

Roman could see that he was in too much pain and his heart almost dissolved into dust realizing he didn't know what to do. Whatever was happening, it was clear that Dean saw things that weren't there.

Or maybe it was Roman who could not see them.

Then he remembered; touching seemed to help. It had helped before, maybe it would help again. He only had to find a way to get to Dean without causing any more damage.

He took a step forward.

And Dean recoiled further into the car, backing all the way up to the other door.

The shakes were getting more violent. Sometimes he would open his eyes and look at Roman, and each time his eyes would become sadder and more hopeless.

"It's me. Roman" he said and took a step forward, reaching his hand out slightly.

This seemed to confuse Dean.

And it was;

Because Dean's senses told him two different things.

His ears told him that he should trust the speaking man; he had helped him before and he knew he wanted to help him again. His tone showed nothing but love.

His eyes however told another story. They looked in horror as all they could gaze upon was a humanlike form, a mass of bleeding flesh, with burning eyes and long sharp teeth coming dangerously near him.

He removed his hands from his ears and brought them around his body. He sat down on the seat defeated and unable to form any coherent thought. He knew he had to make a choice and he didn't know what to trust.

His ears or his eyes.

"I would never hurt you… I love you…" he heard again. He closed his eyes and exhaled, his muscles unwilling to stop shaking and his breathing racing still like a marathon runner's. He could feel the bleeding man coming near but he could also feel warmth and hope slowly enveloping him.

And they were driving him crazy; like being pulled by two different forces; and they were hurting him. All he had to do was lean to either direction and make a choice.

Painless oblivion

Or

Painful consciousness.

The choice for Dean was easy.

Keeping his eyes closed, he reached out a trembling hand and let the warmth in his heart and into his mind. Hands were around him, but this time they were not trying to tear him to pieces.

These arms were strong, confident and full of love. They held him close and whispered soothing words to every cell of his body. They removed all bonds from his mind and his heart.

"I love you" he heard again and managed to dig himself deeper into the loving arms. This was probably the first time he could remember when he didn't feel any pain.

Where he was conscious and safe.

Roman was crying. He was holding Dean and he truly felt like his heart was slowly coming together. His broken heart, the one that had been so damaged three years ago, felt like it was coming whole again. He wanted to squeeze him and tell him that he would never let him go. Instead he kept his arms firmly around and whispered continuously…

"I love you…"

. . .

I need not fear the love  
You love to love the fear  
I never want to be alone  
I've forgotten too  
The road keeps moving the clouds  
The clouds become unreal  
I guess I'll always be at home  
Do you want me to try?  
Directing your night

An exit lights the sky  
The sky becomes complete  
Traveling hearts divine the throne  
I've forgotten too  
Friction, lines, bumps  
The highway song complete  
The signs are all turning right

Do you want me to try?  
Directing your night  
Want me to try  
Directing your life

The purest forms of life  
Our days are never coming back  
The cannons of our time  
Our days are never coming back

The purest forms of life  
Our days are never coming back  
The cannons of our time  
Our days are never coming back

Our days are never coming back  
Our days are never coming back  
Our days are never coming back

-System Of A Down: Highway Song-


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

He wasn't feeling cold.

Not anymore.

And he wasn't in pain. And that was such a strange feeling. Ever since he had woken up in that field, all he had done was run, hurt and suffer. It had been only a few days but they felt like years. All hours and days blended together into one long nightmare. He didn't have a moment's peace; ghosts, demons and witches always lingered around him but none dared come closer.

None, but him.

And her.

He had felt her once in the hospital. He had felt her power and the vengeance, but only a small piece of it. In his mind, he didn't know who she was or what she really wanted. But in his heart, he knew he had heard of her before. He had dealt with her in a way. If only he could remember.

When he tried thinking back, before his field awakening, his head hurt unbearably, to the point of passing out.

And he had other more pressing matters to deal with.

He let the warmth spread through his body and his muscles relax. The heating source was not far and the covers provided a familiar but almost forgotten sense of comfort and safety. The crackling sound reaching his ears meant that the source was most likely burning wood in a fire place.

But the room was otherwise silent.

Too quiet.

He remembered facing the bleeding man out there. He had taken him…

No… saved him…

from the hospital all the way to this snowed mountain. But then something incredible had happened. The demon had begun to change. His face was more grotesque than ever but his voice was different and its effect on Dean was more powerful than the visual. Upon hearing these three words, something had snapped inside him, almost awakened. He had realized that this was the one he was looking for, the one he was supposed to find; but wasn't it the same being who had terrified him for days?

Wasn't he?

Dean knew he was supposed to be afraid of him and he had been, up until Abigail and that terrible man had come, bringing him a new kind of pain, one from which his mind could not escape or ignore.

But then his entire mind and universe had shifted. It had felt like there were two different worlds colliding.

One he could see and one he could feel.

And both were equally exhilarating and horrible.

But the strangest thing of all was how he felt. Lying in that place, in warmth and in silence, he felt comfortable and at peace. He still didn't dare open his eyes in case this was a dream. It had happened before. But tonight, making the decision to keep them closed and follow his heart, felt like the right thing to do; like the best thing he had done so far.

And the arms around him felt right; they felt like they belonged there.

He didn't want to open his eyes because he felt safe. Those arms were still around him and a soft breath was coming from behind him, steady and soothing.

"I know you are awake" he heard another voice whispering. This was a familiar, kind voice, one his heart told him to trust. A warm hand touched his forehead, fingers moving strands of hair. For some reason, unknown to Dean, he opened his eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you" he whispered and smiled. The man had long, dark hair and looked lean, agile and kind.

"I know" Dean rasped almost inaudibly.

Seth looked surprised at the calmness he was being met with. His eyes darted to Roman who had woken up and somehow managed to stay calm and unmoving, just waiting, almost holding his breath.

"How do you know?" Seth asked calmly.

Dean remained silent for a few seconds, then turned around and looked at Roman straight in the eyes; and took him by surprise.

"I feel it"

Roman felt his breathing gain speed upon that gaze.

But still, there was a hint o fear and those eyes.

"Do you know who we are?" Rollins continued in the same gentle tone.

"No" he looked back at him.

"Do you remember who you are?"

At that Dean lowered his eyes. It was as if he was ashamed. He didn't say anything out loud but it was pretty clear that his memory had been wiped clean.

"It's ok"

Seth helped him sit up on the couch. The orange hue the fire was shedding on the walls and the two candles that were burning on the coffee table, cast long shadows but Dean didn't seem to mind. His unwillingness to detach himself from Roman however didn't go unnoticed.

"Your name is Dean Ambrose and we are your friends. We are the closest thing you have of a family… I am Seth Rollins and the big guy here is Roman Reigns."

Once again Dean looked at the Samoan. The same hint of fear was making his eyes shine just a little brighter and he couldn't tell if Dean was squeezing his hand because of that fear or determination. At this point, he really couldn't tell the difference between the two.

"Thank you" he finally said "I feel like I should know you and I feel like I can trust you"

"Dean…" it was Roman's turn to avert his eyes "back at the hospital, why did you react like that when you saw me?"

Dean paused. There was no way of saying anything without sounding like a complete lunatic.

"I woke up in a field… alone… I had no memory … nothing but them…"

"Them?" Seth came closer and sat down on the floor.

"There were always voices, screams, cries, shadows… always there, all around me like mist. But they kept their distance. None came close… save one…"

He looked deep into his eyes and Roman flinched.

"Me?"

"At first it was more of a feeling; a sense of emergency and flight. Then it became desperation. I had to find you but I didn't know who you were. Then you…"

Hesitation? Shame?

"He… came" Dean continued looking at the flames in the fire place. "He was real and he looked so much like you… in a way I guess, he was you… part of you. But he was not you at the same time. And he hurt me so… so much… and for so long… it was then I started losing time… each one longer than the previous and each time I came back, you… he… he was there… each time he would hurt me more"

"Dean, I would never hurt you"

"I know" he cut him off and untangled his hand from Roman's, distancing himself further away to the end of the couch. "But you have to understand something… while my ears and my heart tells me to trust you, when I look at you all I see is the one who hurt me… the bleeding man"

"You have said that name before" Seth noted

A nod.

"That's what I call him"

Roman looked so hurt, crushed.

"I'm sorry" he managed to mutter and went to stand up but Dean's hand snapped and grabbed his wrist, gently pulling him back down.

"No, I'm sorry. I am thankful that you saved me. It doesn't matter what you look like in my eyes. It has taken me a while to understand that you are not the same demon. He was imitating you to get to me."

"Why? What does he want" Seth looked at Roman alarmed.

"Probably the same thing Abigail wants"

"Abigail?" that familiar name still felt like punch in the gut to Roman.

"The tall man we saw exiting the hospital… he had visited me before. He told me about her… and then she came."

"What do you mean?"

"She came in the hospital. I couldn't see her but I could feel her. She wanted revenge… death for all… but then, you…" he looked at Roman, "you chased her away. As soon as you came in the room, she left me alone"

"So where does Drew fit into all this?" Seth asked perplexed.

"The tall guy at the hospital? You know him?"

"Yes, from work. You used to know him too"

"Abigail sent him for me but I don't really know what for"

"I do" Roman said somberly. "Revenge"

"For what?" the innocence with which the question was asked was hopeless.

Roman looked at Seth who only nodded back. It was dangerous what Roman was proposing and they didn't know if it was the right thing to do, how Dean would react or even if his mind would be able to handle it.

If Drew was coming for them, he had to know.

And if Abigail was with him, Dean would need to gain his memories back.

"For something we did three years ago"

. . .

The days were short and the sun had set behind the mountain a long time ago. The wind outside had picked up pace. Soon it became a raging snow storm. The howling wind seemed to engulf the cabin, which despite the velocity and force of the blizzard, stood firm and unmoving.

Inside its walls where three souls, each one more lost than the other, but all equally clueless, grasping at straws at trying to put together a puzzle with half the pieces. They were trying desperately to understand what was happening by recounting events that had taken place three years ago.

The flames in the fire place were kept alive by logs of wood tossed when necessary. The once comforting crackling sound and warmth did nothing to ease their spirits anymore. Roman had been telling the story holding nothing back; he recounted all the events that lead to Dean becoming the guardian.

Every gruesome detail.

He had paused every so often to let the words sink in but Dean showed no sign of reaction. His eyes were transfixed on the orange flames and the red hot coals. He suddenly felt very cold and very sad.

"It's my fault" he mumbled once Roman had finished his narration.

"What? No!" Seth exclaimed and reached out to take Dean's hand in comfort. But he recoiled and that stopped him dead on his tracks.

But was more surprising was the look on his face; a strange mixture of pain, anger and something else that Seth couldn't identify.

But Roman could. He had seen it before, in the hospital.

Dean was losing control. He could almost see the mental progress they had made so far, crumbling down like a house of cards.

Telling him the story might have been a mistake. Dean was too fragile to handle that responsibility. Between fast, sharp breaths and gritted teeth, Dean stood up and distanced himself from his two friends, putting them actively on high alert. Still he didn't turn his back to them. His eyes darkened and maniacally looked around.

They didn't dare move towards him.

Dean brought his shaking fists up to his temples and started hitting. The blows were light but there was no doubt they would soon escalate and draw blood.

"It's my fault" his rough voce broke.

"It's not! Please stop hitting yourself" Roman pleaded.

"No!" Dean screamed angrily "Two people died because of me! Because of who I am! And I can't even remember any of it!" He paused, letting his knuckles rub against his temples' skin forcefully. A grimace spread across his face.

The headaches were back.

And the voices.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

Seth looked at Roman, scared of what he was seeing.

They were so wrong! And so tragically unqualified to deal with this.

'Hardy would have known what to do'

But Matt Hardy couldn't help them… He had died three years ago.

Roman wanted to take a step closer but he was afraid of making things worse.

Because Dean was hearing the damned voices again. And judging from his sharp gesturing and the shaking muscles they were angry and too close to him.

"Dean… please listen to me… listen to my voice… it wasn't you fault, any of it" maybe Roman's voice would bring him back again.

"No!" Dean's scream covered the terrible howling of the blizzard. "they're dead!"

Suddenly he stopped everything. No more shaking, no more twitching, hitting or rubbing. It was as if a lightning had struck him. He looked at the two men standing in front of him and his eyes changed from demented to sad.

"And you will be dead" his voice was ice cold. "And I'm sorry, I can't let that happen to you"

It was like a wave of calmness and serenity had washed away all his agony and fear.

And without hesitation, without allowing any time for his words to sink in, he opened the front door and ran away into the freezing cold.

"Dean! No!" Roman screamed and darted after him, with Seth in tow. But it was too late.

The blizzard and the starless night had already swallowed Dean whole. The wind blew fiercely between the trees and the mountain rocks, covering the sound of Dean's shoeless feet as they sunk in the snow. His skin was covered with nothing but a thin layer of clothing and the t-shirt and sweatpants provided little warmth.

But it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting away from them; keeping them safe by putting as much distance between them and him.

They had already risked too much.

They had given up even more.

And all he did was run; even after his lungs started burning and his feet went numb.

He kept running even when the shadows crawled to him from the darkness and the screams covered the noise of the snow storm. With every step further away he took, the louder they became. And with every loud pant he breathed, the more pain they caused him.

Running blindly into the night made sense to him. It felt like the worst and best thing he had done so far.

Worse because it would probably lead him to his death.

Best because it meant it would keep them safe.

Then the wind ceased and the snow stopped falling but Dean's ears adjusted too late to the sound of a different kind of whistling.

The contact was violent, sudden and bloody; and it took away whatever little breath he had left.

The silver arrow pierced his right chest and its tip came out the shoulder blade, throwing him on his back.

Red sipped out and the once pure white was now tainted and rotting.

"It ends tonight"

. . .

"Roman" Seth pilled him in the midst of the roaring wind.

"No! I have to find him. He can't go out there… he'll freeze to death"

Still Seth held him back.

"We're not going to find him in this weather, not like this. We'll freeze to death too. Let's go back inside and get at least out coats, flashlights… come on" he pleased desperately.

Roman knew he was right because he was close to freezing himself. He didn't want to think how cold Dean would be.

Hastily they entered the cabin. While Seth was looking for a flashlight, Roman went into the kitchen.

He looked around. There, at the table lay a big kitchen knife. He took it in his hands and weighed it.

' _Maybe it'll come in handy'_

However a memory surfaced that made him stop and think about it twice. Dean had grown up on the wrong side of the tracks, as he called it, and one time during a semi drunk conversation, he had told Roman that he never used to carry any weapons with him.

' _Because if you carry one, eventually you're going to use it. And I wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility or guilt. Still am not."_

As he looked down on the ragged edged, rusted long knife, Roman wondered if he was ready for that too. Take a life. Slip that blade into the soft flesh of another human being and let all that hot, thick, sticky blood stain his hands.

Forever.

But what was the alternative? Don't take the knife? What if he should need it? What if Dean's life depends on it? Roman gripped the handle tighter, a sense of urgency resurfacing, filling him with dread. He placed the knife in his jacket pocket but as he went to leave, the sight of an old axe propped against the wooden wall caught his eye.

' _Fuck'_

"What?" Seth standing at the kitchen doorway made him jump. He followed Roman's gaze to the axe.

"Well? What are we waiting for? Grab it and let's go"

That push was all he needed. He quickly grabbed to axe and followed Seth outside.

The blizzard had thankfully stopped abut an eerie silence crept up around them. They took a few steps toward the tree line. After that, the darkness looked like a black hole ready to devour them. Before advancing Roman handed Seth the knife.

"Just in case" and Rollins nodded.

For a while all they could hear was the sound of their boots on the fresh snow, and their breaths that came out in plumes of white clouds.

"Dean!" Seth yelled, hoping to get a response, but not expecting one really.

Nothing.

With every step they took, a feeling of danger grew in their hearts. Soon though those steps brought them to a small clearing. The snow there was flat, with signs of footsteps and more disturbingly, big spots of blood that lead further into the woods. They approached the blood stains as the grips around their weapons tightened. The blood was still warm to the touch as Roman dipped his finger in it. He waved at Seth to move forward but a voice echoing through the darkness made them halt.

"Not another step!"

The man that accompanied the familiar voice appeared from the shadows but he was not alone.

"Oh my God!" Seth breathed.

"Dean" the name escaped Roman's lips and the axe fell soundlessly on the snow.

. . .

Let's go into bed Please put me to bed  
And turn down the light

Fold out your hands  
Give me a sign  
Hold down your lies  
Lay down next to me  
Don't listen when I scream  
Bury your thoughts (doubts)  
And fall asleep  
Find out  
I was just a bad dream

Let the bed sheet  
Soak up my tears  
And watch the only way out disappear  
Don't tell me why  
Kiss me goodbye

For Neither ever, nor never  
Goodbye  
Neither ever, nor never  
Goodbye  
Neither ever, nor never  
Goodbye  
Goodbye

-Apparat:Goodbye-


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Dean wished for salvation.

Any kind of it.

The silver arrow was still stuck in his upper chest, piercing the flesh right through and out the back. Pain spread to his right side of the body, making his muscles shake uncontrollably. And it was so intense he could barely take a breath. Everything around him was a darkening blur.

Weirdly enough, he couldn't feel the cold anymore, although he knew he should. Though his vision was blurred, the dark demons were still around him and the voices of the lingering dead grew louder and thicker.

They drew closer.

Like a damned smoke, from which there was no escape.

Dangerously closer

But he wasn't one of them. The bleeding man was not amongst the gathering demons.

Dean let out a rough moan when a rough hand grabbed him by the neck and brought him to his knees. The man came and stood in front of him, legs spread wide, confident, and let out a chuckle. Dean lifted up his eyes and saw the same man who had visited him at the hospital. The same one who had tried to stop them when he and Roman were making their escape.

Drew.

That's what they called him.

He had a deranged, smug smile spread across his face and his right held the cross bow that had launched the arrow. Despite his long hair and thick beard, Dean could see his eyes shining dangerously. Licking his lips, Drew lowered himself and came to Dean's eye level.

He flinched when he felt Drew's hand caress his cheek tenderly and started making its way down.

Touching the soft skin of his neck, he felt his pulse getting weaker as a constant stream of blood kept seeping through the wound. Then his hand came to a stop right above the protruding arrow. Despite the blurriness of his eyesight, Dean realized two things.

One.

He had made a terrible mistake leaving the cabin and luring the danger away from his saviors.

And two.

He would pay for that choice dearly.

Drew grabbed the arrow with his fist and jerked it just enough to elicit a guttural groan, as blood rose to Dean's throat. Drew's smug grin became one of hatred. He twisted the arrow and pulled him closer to his face.

"I told you I'd be seeing you soon"

His other came to rest on his head, yanking it backwards, exposing his neck. He sniffed the skin like dog and licked the sweat till his tongue reached his ear. But there was nowhere to go. Even breathing caused too much pain.

And the hand kept twisting and turning the arrow.

Dean wanted to do something, react but the pain just filled him completely, taking his breath away, allowing only small, sharp, rough gasps.

Soon his eyes started to roll back, the end beckoning him.

"Not yet boy" Drew spat angrily and managed to bring him back by pushing a fistful of snow against his face, punching him in the process.

The cold did its job. Dean's eyes flew open, every orifice of his head filling with freezing snow. Before his mind could register anything, Drew got to his feet and looked around, almost sniffing the crisp air.

"At last. They're here"

He grabbed him by the right arm, dragged him behind a huge tree trunk and covered his mouth. Dean heard footsteps approaching, shuffling around in the snow. He wanted to yell, scream for help but the grip was too tight and the pain too great.

Then Drew yanked him again and threw him down, knees first, in front of Seth and Roman.

"Not another step" McIntyre growled, keeping one hand on the arrow protruding on Dean's back and another holding a gun on his head.

Where had that gun come from he didn't know but he could feel and smell the barrel on his temple. The constant pulling of the arrow head kept taking his breath away, never allowing his brain to rest, regroup or form any coherent thought.

Every inhalation felt like boiling water being poured down his throat; and it always came back up as blood.

"Oh my God!" Seth breathed.

"Dean" the name escaped his lips and the axe fell soundlessly on the snow.

Seth raised his hands and threw the old knife away. The familiar smug smile reappeared on Drew's face.

"Thank you for coming! Would you please join us?" the sarcasm didn't go unnoticed; however Drew had to push the gun harder against Dean's head to emphasize his point.

"Now! On your knees!" the loud rumbling voice was enough to make them snap out of the trance they were in, especially Roman, who up until that moment he hadn't been able to take his eyes off Dean.

Seth pulled his sleeve and urged him to his knees.

"What do you want?" Seth asked

"Everything" the arrogance turned into wild crazy.

"I don't understand"

"He… wants… to become…g… guardian" Dean sputtered more blood.

"Why? Why would you want that? Roman asked in sadness "Can't you see what it's done to him?"

"I. Want. Power. I WANT EVERYTHING… and she can give it to me"

"She?' Roman asked lowering his arms a little. "Abigail?"

Drew nodded.

"Is that what she promised? And you believed her?"

Drew felt Dean try to laugh only for more blood to come out. He looked up, lips, chin, neck and chest, a sea of red, and smiled at the tall man.

"She… lied. You can't become the guardian" Dean slumped back slightly "the moment I stepped out, another one was already in my place"

"I thought you couldn't remember anything" the Scott noted, loosening his grip faintly.

"I don't… The past is still… v… void… but I do know the… Balance c… couldn't be left unguarded… not again." He wheezed painful, trying to take in as much oxygen as he could. "I remember feeling it… trying to throw me out and… holding onto me tooth and nail… until the new guardian was… there…"

Drew looked down at the wounded man at his feet. His eyes were already half closed and his body read to crumble.

"You lie!" he mumbled.

"He doesn't" Seth spoke. "She is the one lying to you. That's what she does and that's what she did in the past. She used Bray Wyatt to his death and now she uses you. She has no control over the Balance or the guardian. She only wants revenge. If you kill us, she'll have no further use for you…"

"Shut the fuck up" the tall man yelled and pointed the gun at Seth angrily. His grip around the arrowhead tightened once more and a painful moan escaped Dean's lips as his back arched against the fist.

"Please stop" Roman begged.

"Stop? No, no, no… I've only just began. Once I'm done, she'll give me what I want"

"Killing us won't make a difference" Seth tried to reason "Not to you… none of us are a threat to you"

"Kill you?" he laughed. "I'm not going to kill you. I need you" he pointed at Dean "and you…" he looked at Roman "to bring her here. She will kill you and then give me what I'm owed"

That last statement froze everyone in place.

"But you can't… Matt had told us that people from the other side can't cross over to this one…" Seth remembered hardy had told them something like that all those years ago.

"There is only one who can…" he pulled Dean's hair back "can't you, motherfucker?"

But Dean didn't answer. Instead he looked up at him.

"I'm not g…going to d…do it for you"

Drew smiled even wider and leaned closer.

"That's the beauty of it… you're not going to do it. I am… there is only one thing I'll need from you two"

He paused and looked at Roman.

Then at Seth.

Still pointing the gun at Dean, finger dangerously close to the trigger, he walked and picked up the old knife that Seth had thrown on the snow.

Dean looked at his saviors. He wanted to say how sorry he was. He felt that it was his fault. He couldn't remember any of the things that had happened in the past, but still the guilt lingered. If he had any strength he would cry and ask for forgiveness.

He needed to say that. Especially to Roman.

His bleeding man.

His demon.

He felt such a connection to him and such an attraction, despite the way he looked. His heart ached for him.

And that's when it hit him.

Right there, in the snow, in the freezing cold, in the middle of the night. Two men on their knees, helpless, looking at each other, filled with dreams and regrets.

That's when he knew.

The reason why he was thrown out of the Tower; why the Balance had rejected him.

Because he loved Roman… too much. Because he couldn't let him go, and because it seemed that Roman couldn't let him go either. That magnetic connection and that rare bold was too strong and too distracting for the Balance to ignore. It had held onto to Dean for as long as he could but in the end, it had to let him go, reject him.

But that posed the question.

Was the Balance trying to punish him? Or was Dean's state of mind a result of the Balance trying to hold onto him longer than it should?

Drew held the knife and came back behind Dean. He grabbed him by the neck and dragged him in the middle of the clearing. It didn't matter how hard the others protested. As long as he had the gun, there was little they could do.

He threw Dean down and then pointed the gun at Roman.

"Your turn" he said and waved him to approach. "Careful!" he warned standing behind Dean once more and bringing the barrel too close to his skull. "Don't do anything stupid."

Roman stood up, not really feeling his legs and gingerly approached.

Then turned his attention to Seth.

"I haven't forgotten about you sunshine. Bring your ass over here" and pointed at a tree next to him. Seth thought about stalling for time, but Drew had a tight grip on Dean. And that gun was pushing against his friend's head. He came close to the tree and looked at Dean for the first time since arriving at the clearing.

His pale complexion was such a stark contrast to the red blood that was covering him. His eyes, once bright and curious, were blurry and dark. The right side of his body looked like it was about to melt, because Dean didn't have any strength left to keep it together.

"Tie him to the tree" Drew bellowed at Roman throwing him a piece of rope.

Roman took the rope and slowly walked to Seth. He used the rope to tie his hands behind his back and then around the tree.

"What are we going to do?" Seth whispered as Roman was tying his hands.

Roman momentarily looked back and just by the glance he gave, Seth knew he had no idea.

He had no idea what was happening or what he was doing or even if there was anything he could do. His eyes were on the verge of tears.

They were losing. The end game would possibly claim all three lives. And Roman could deal with losing his own life; but he couldn't handle losing Seth to this. He had done nothing wrong.

None of them were to blame. Everyone in the clearing was a pawn of fate. None of them had a choice to begin with. Their fates had been sealed since birth. Every choice they had made in their lives, ever, had led them to this place.

This very moment.

Once he finished tying Seth to the tree he went back to his place facing Dean. Before he could do anything, Drew kicked him behind his knees and Roman fell on the snow, groaning. He lifted his eyes and was met with Dean's exhausted gaze. He was about to fall over. And Roman wanted nothing more than to take him in his arms.

"This is it…" McIntyre said and stood between the two. "Are you ready?"

"What are you going to do? You said you wouldn't kill us" Roman tried to buy some time, not really expecting anyone to come save them. He just wanted to know if he was going to die, what he was dying for.

"I'm not. But she will… once I open the portal she will come through…"

"Portal? There's… no… portal…" Dean mumbled.

Drew leaned over once again and smiled. He would humor them. And why not? He had time. All the time in the world.

Besides he loved to gloat. And he loved seeing other people's faces when he told them the inevitable and unthinkable truth.

"You see, that's where you are wrong. In all the centuries of the Balance and the Tower, and all that bullshit, the guardian was this neutral, perfect being, free from vice, hand-picked by the wise men of old. He was a true conduit of the Balance, and a master of the universe. And he had to be perfect. But…" he paused and smirked "you're not perfect, are you Dean?"

He waved the gun close to Dean's neck, making Roman flinch.

And that didn't go unnoticed.

Drew looked at the Samoan and continued.

"You see, Dean would be the perfect guardian if it hadn't been for you… you just had to stick your nose and mess with the guardian."

A belly laugh escaped Drew lips and he stood up.

"That had never happened in all those thousands of years! The reigning guardian had never been in love! And the Balance didn't know what to do. So he…" he pointed at Dean "made the choice. And he chose you Roman… he chose to step down, leave all that power and for what? you?"

The disgust on his face was unmistakable.

"Which brings us to now… Abigail contacted me through the Scottish druids… apparently the heart of the guardian is more powerful than the Balance itself. It can do many wonderful things. And also many dreadful things…"

Drew weighed the rusted old knife in his hand and knelt down right behind Dean, grabbing the tip of the arrow that still protruded from his back and sticking the blade to his throat, making sure Roman wouldn't do anything stupid.

"But your heart belongs to someone else, doesn't it?" he whispered to his ear but kept his eyes on Roman, who didn't like at all neither the proximity nor the words he was hearing. He looked like a caged animal.

"No, your heart belongs to him… right before you ascended the Tower, you confessed your feelings. It didn't matter if there were regrets. At that moment, you became one. You fought your own for a while, but eventually you understood. That's why we are here now; because I need you both. I need blood from both of you to open the portal… and I have Dean's blood…"

With one swift movement he pulled the arrow and threw it away.

Dean uttered a liquid, thick scream that echoed creepily in the dark woods. Still, Drew used his free arm and kept him close.

Too close.

Roman felt his lips numb. He had almost lunged forth to hold Dean, but the knife had changed places so fast and was now dangerously close to his own neck.

"It's time you give me yours"

Dean was fading.

And Roman didn't know what to do.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked defeated.

"Stick out your arm. I am going to cut it and once blood starts to flow, you are going to mix it with Dean's." he tapped on the open wound. "This will open the portal…"

Roman looked at Dean. He knew his eyes were telling him not to do it. But he couldn't help it. Then he looked at Seth, still tied to a tree, struggling against the ropes, moving his untied legs and shifting the snow around.

Roman removed his jacket and stuck his arm forth.

The knife didn't hurt as much as he thought it would when it cut his palm deep. Still, he flinched, to Drew's great satisfaction.

"Now… touch the wound…"

Roman brought his hand up and tenderly touched Dean's gapping chest.

. . .

Seth wasn't very far. He could hear every bit of Drew's monologue. And it was fascinating to hear it.

Truly.

But he had other things in mind.

Namely, that arrow that Drew had so forcefully removed and thrown so carelessly away.

To Seth's feet.

It was there, a few inches away. He tried at first to be discreet about it, but after a few tries he increased his efforts. Drew was coming close to his end game and his friends were in danger.

She was coming soon.

He caught a glimpse of Roman as he gave him a defeated look, and that made him dig deeper and stretch just a little further.

' _There'_

The arrow was between his boots.

Bringing it to his hands was easier than he thought. But not as easy as it should be because he was nervous and his hands were shaking. He didn't want to think what would happen if Drew would catch him in the act.

In front of him, Roman was cutting his hand, and was about to mix his blood with Dean's.

The arrow was in his hands.

He started cutting the ropes as fast as he could.

' _Almost there'_

' _Almost'_

Then the earth shook. A deep, ominous rumble that made the trees shake and shed all the snow that had stuck in their branches.

Then a shriek.

' _Fuck'_

. . .

I was calling  
For the last time  
We'd been here before  
They found pictures in the snow  
I could tell your eyes  
Looked beneath the blue  
I woke underneath the trees  
For the first time

I was calling  
For the last time  
We'd been here before  
They found pictures in the snow  
They found pictures in the snow  
I woke underneath the trees  
For the first time

I was calling  
For the last time  
We'd been here before  
They found pictures in the snow  
I could tell your eyes  
Looked beneath the blue  
I woke underneath the trees  
For the first time

-Message To Bears: You Are A Memory-


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

So many regrets. So many things left unsaid. So many touches and even more kisses.

It should mean something knowing how they felt for each other.

And for a while it had been enough for Dean.

But not anymore.

He had lost all his memories but his heart had eventually remembered how fast it beat for him. He didn't need to remember anything else.

He didn't even need to look.

It had been so confusing and painful at the beginning. He had been feeling so lost and hurt for what it seemed like an eternity, that being in this constant state of fight or flight had become second nature. Ever since that night in the field, he had never had a moment's peace; real rest.

Save for those few precious minutes in the cabin.

In his warm embrace.

In silence and in safety.

He shivered.

Was it from the blood loss or was it the cold? It didn't matter anymore.

All that mattered was Seth and Roman made it out alive.

The pain he was experiencing had spread to every inch of his body and he wished his mind would shut down like it had in the past.

But it didn't. Instead it became more alert and more sensitive not only to his own pain but also to Roman's. He was too aware of both their mental and physical anguish.

And so was Roman.

And that was a vicious, never ending cycle.

Drew removing the arrow had been excruciatingly painful but swift. Dean felt the tightness had that had been squeezing his chest, release it and he was finally able to take a much needed breath. The night air immediately froze his lungs but he didn't care at this point.

He was finally breathing.

After the first few inhalations however he quickly realized that his pain was growing. His blood was coursing quicker through his veins and his heart was pumping faster, now however there was no arrow to obstruct the blood flow. Soon he felt dizzy and nauseous.

Roman was kneeling in front of him. He had just cut his palm and the blood already covered most his hand.

He looked at Dean and his heart broke into hundreds of pieces.

"Move your ass, mother fucker. Quit stalling"

Drew kicked Dean forward, forcing him to use his hands. But his right arm was not responding any longer and he would have fallen had it not been for Roman. The kick had pushed him forward right into the Samoan's arms.

"I've got you" he whispered into Dean's ear.

"I know" came the response almost inaudibly. Dean looked up in a mixture of regret and sadness. He let his head rest on Roman's shoulder and closed his eyes. He felt utterly exhausted.

Roman looked at his bloodied hand and slowly brought it up, covering Dean's chest wound. The effect was instantaneous. He felt Dean grabbing him by his shirt and pulling it. He felt his muscles shake and he buried his head deeper into his chest.

No scream came. Not yet.

"Dean?" his voice trembled.

He didn't get a response.

Not immediately.

Drew had taken a step back, never taking his eyes off of them nor his finger from the trigger.

"It's happening" his thick Scottish accent echoed as he looked around not really knowing what to expect.

Then Dean raised his head to the night sky and screamed.

A guttural, desperate wail. For the second time Roman held him tightly, but didn't get the chance to do anything else, because from the distance a weird sound was coming, approaching them fast.

Soon the sound became a rumble, like big boulders rolling down a mountainside; like tectonic plates shifting under the earth's surface.

And that rumble was followed by an earthquake.

Roman took Dean in his arms and brought him closer, to prevent them from falling. The rumble became louder and louder, drew closer and closer and the shaking only grew with it.

Dean hugged back desperately, taking him by surprise.

"Help me" he pleaded. "Don't let go"

"Never"

Roman would have shed a tear but the rumbling came to an abrupt halt, followed by an ear piercing screech. It surrounded them, breaking their embrace, enveloping them completely. Both bodies trembled when the shriek took a hold of their hearts. It felt like a new kind of desperation had invaded them.

Even Drew seemed affected by it. The noise had knocked him on his knees just a few feet away.

"M… make her… stop" Roman heard Dean ask but he didn't know how. Dean covered his ears and fell on the snow curling in a fetal position.

Roman turned around searching for Seth.

But he was nowhere to be found. The tree to which he had been tied was now empty; not even the ropes where there.

Deep inside he was relieved that Seth at least had made it out of there alive. He was the only person who was not to blame; who had been dragged into this and who had been man enough and friend enough to stay to the end. He didn't want to see him suffer any more with them.

He wished Seth was half way across the country by now.

On the other hand, he felt kind of sad not to see him there. And then he felt guilty for that.

The temperature seemed to drop further in a matter of a few seconds. Their muscles tensed and shivered, and Roman found himself sitting on the snow, covering his ears.

The screaming was still all around them, polluting every cell of their minds.

Somewhere amongst that noise, the wind picked up pace, lifting the snow from the ground and forming a small twister.

Dean was shivering on the ground, hands still clasping his ears. He was screaming, Roman was certain of that but the twister noise was too loud to be sure. He couldn't even hear his own scream.

He was calling out Dean's name.

Then among all that raucous, the wind changed direction and the snow seemed to be heading to the left side of the clearing. Roman dared at look and saw that between the trees a black hole had formed, one that sucked in all the snow and all the air.

Like a gaping mouth, swallowing time and sound.

He reached out and grabbed Dean's arm, but he didn't react to the touch. His skin was so cold; colder than ice. He fought against the wind and the snow that pelted him, and brought Dean closer to him.

He was no longer shivering; his muscles were not longer shaking.

His hands fell limp, uncovering the ears they had been on.

His face was calm but the cold had given it a strange bluish tinge. He held his back close to his chest, wrapping his arms around him, trying desperately to transfer some of his own little precious warmth to him; trying to make the blood flow.

But very little of it was left. The chest wound had been frozen. No blood was flowing, but the arrow had made its damage. Ice crystals had begun to form on the blood covered t-shirt.

Dean's head fell back and rested next to Roman's neck.

"No… please…" he mumbled to him "don't go… don't leave alone"

A hot tear ran from his eye all the way down to his chin. There it hung for a few moments and then fell on Dean's face.

"She is coming"

Drew got to his feet and looked into the black hole in anticipation and malice. Roman followed his gaze into the void and felt his breath stop.

"She is here"

Two malformed hands appeared in the darkness. Old, bony and calloused fingers adorned with long, sharp, dirty nails and one silver skull ring.

The arms came to view next. The skin hung from the bones, sagging like empty sacks.

She wore long black robes and Roman found himself thinking of how cliché that was. Abigail was a witch, there was no doubt about that, but in his mind he always thought that the depiction of witches in fairytales was wrong.

' _I guess I was wrong'_

But her face.

That face did not match to the rest of the body.

Her face was old, but he could see that she was beautiful once. And she might still have been somewhat beautiful had it not been for her eyes.

Those were red. There was no white in them; just a bright, hellish color that emanated heat. A malicious grin spread across her face, one that grew wider every time she came closer to the edge of the black hole.

It was then that Dean stirred and opened his eyes.

"Dean!" was all he could say. He looked at him and was met with a pair of blue eyes. They looked at him in surprise and regret.

"I'm sorry" he simply said and looked at Abigail, who had reached the edge of the black hole and seemed to hover on the precipice. Her eyes looked like they were spewing hellfire and her hands were clutched in fists.

She was angry and she was impatient.

Still the wind blew around them, passing around the trees echoing like a wild animal.

Drew walked towards them.

"It's time we finish this" he spat out and grabbed Dean's hand, dragging him towards the black hole.

Roman tried to hold onto to him but Drew was quicker. He turned around swiftly and hit him hard on the head using the gun, sending him backwards. Immediately pain and dizziness spread to the Samoan's head and he felt something thick and warm trickling down his temple. He tried to stand but his body didn't respond to his brain's command. He had to gather all his strength just to bring himself to a crawl.

Drew marched into the snow still dragging Dean's limp, wounded body. He had no strength left in him. All he could do is watch Roman as he was moved further and further away from him.

"NO!" Roman screamed when he saw Drew stopping a couple of steps away from the black hole. Ignoring his pain and his dizziness, he started to claw his way into the snow.

Still Dean might as well have been a hundred miles away.

Drew threw Dean in front of the black hole and stared into Abigail's eyes.

"He's yours"

Abigail smiled and lifted up her hand, expecting Drew to hand her prize over to her.

McIntryre picked him up from his neck and looked him in the eyes, ready to throw Dean into the void to his torment and death.

But then something changed. The gears in his mind started to turn and one of the oldest sins in the history of mankind took over.

Greed.

A fingertip away from Abigail clutches, Drew held Dean back.

Roman was still a few steps away, hands digging frantically but slowly their way into the snow.

Abigail screamed in rage. The wind became a blizzard, a constant howling noise that mingled with her rage. Still, she couldn't reach him. And with every swing she took at him, she became angrier.

"I want what you promised. I'm not the fool Bray Wyatt was… I want what you promised first or I kill the guardian and close the portal" Drew held the gun close to Dean's head.

' _Just a few feet'_

Roman's sight started to blur and his body stiffen. His willpower was almost spent.

But not quite.

"Give him to me!" the high pitched, shrieking voice hurt their ears "or you die like the dog that you are"

"You can't do anything from there… you still need him…" the grip around Dean's neck became tighter.

Then everything seemed to happen fast.

Too fast.

From the corner of his eye, Roman saw a dark form sprinting towards them. He screamed at Dean but the noise of the blizzard around was too loud.

The dark form was quick and within seconds it reached Roman.

It was then he realized who the dark form was.

Seth.

His heart beat fast, new hope warming his frozen body, clearing his numb brain.

Seth had come back.

' _Fool… why didn't you leave? Save yourself?'_

Seth didn't stop to check on Roman. Instead he lunged forward and speared Drew's side, sending him painfully on the ground.

That however left Dean unguarded, unsupported and vulnerable.

He looked at Abigail, barely standing on his own legs.

Roman saw Dean's eyes roll on the back of his head and his body fall forward.

Into the void.

Into her open arms.

Gathering all the strength he had left, he launched himself towards to void.

Seth looked down, Drew was unconscious. His head was bleeding from the impact on some buried rock, but he was still alive. He wanted to use the rope to tie him up, but the sight of Roman diving towards the black hole, stopped him.

' _Shit'_

All it took was one last inch and Dean was touching the edge of that infernal portal.

When Roman reached him, he managed to grab his left hand before she took him whole. Her fingers were already wrapped around his face and neck, pulling him close to her and he swore he heard her laughing.

She was strong; too strong for his cold, stiff muscles. She pulled harder and Roman had to lean back using all his strength and body weight.

He was screaming. He wasn't sure.

One thing he knew was that he was losing.

Then a pair of hands joined his own and pulled together.

Dean screamed from the other side. Her nails were digging into his head and her teeth were sinking into his neck. He felt he was being torn in half. He felt his breath leaving him and the last thing he saw before darkness came, were his eyes.

He was not the bleeding man any more. The demon was gone and he was so happy and grateful to see the real face of the man he loved.

' _Loved'_

"You son of a bitch" a voice bellowed behind them.

Drew had regained his consciousness faster than humanly possible and was running towards them, his long strong legs bringing him closer a just a few moments.

Seth was the one to see him first and had barely the time to yell at Roman

"Hold him tighter"

He let go Dean's hand just before Drew lunged forward in an attempt to tackle them down.

Roman cried out on pain and strain because he was now left alone to pull Dean away from the witches' claws.

Seth pivoted at the moment Drew was about to bring them down, and found himself behind Drew. Before the Scott could stop however, Seth used all his strength and kicked him.

Into her arms.

The black hole swallowed everything; light, sound, time…

Everything.

When Drew fell into it, he fell onto her, breaking her hold on Dean; just for a moment, a split second. That's all they needed.

She let him go and Roman pulled him out uttering one long, strained cry.

Seth was upon them instantly, helping Roman pull Dean further away from the portal, towards the trees.

"We have to get out of here" he advised them. "The portal is not going to hold"

"How do you know?" Roman was trying to catch his breath.

"Drew can't travel between the two worlds… only the guardian can… Hardy told us that… the portal is going to collapse… we have to get out of here fast"

Roman nodded and painfully got to his feet. Grabbing Dean they started making their way into the snow.

They didn't walk too far.

A shriek echoed again, but this was way too loud and way to angry. The ground shook and all three fell down. Roman and Seth turned around and saw the portal collapsing.

Closing into itself with Abigail and Drew in it.

She had taken a hold on him, tearing his flesh with her teeth and her nails. Drew was screaming but nothing could be heard.

The wind around them ragged on, and they had to keep Dean close between them, covering him with their bodies. The hole kept closing, getting smaller and smaller. And the temperature kept dropping.

Roman dared one look. Just before the portal closed completely, he saw her ripping Drew's throat out with her teeth. Then it closed and for a while a small black cloud hovered in the distance.

Then a thunderous explosion echoed around the entire forest, and it felt like a bomb had gone off, knocking on their backs.

Then nothing.

. . .

Everybody knows,  
Everybody knows,  
That you cradle the sun, sun  
Living in remorse,  
Sky is over,

Don't you want to hold me baby,  
Disappointed, going crazy,

Even though we can't afford  
The sky is over,  
Even though we can't afford  
The sky is over,  
I don't want to see you go,  
The sky is over  
Even though we can't afford  
The sky is over,

Behind closes eyes lie  
The minds ready to awaken you,  
Are you at war with land  
And all of its creatures,  
Your not-so-gentle persuasion  
Has been known to wreck economies  
Of countries, of empires, the sky is over,

Don't you want to hold me baby,  
Disappointed, going crazy,

Not even from the sun,  
Not even from the sun  
Not even from the sun,  
Don't you want me to run,

Even though you can't afford  
The sky is over,  
Even though we can't afford  
The sky is over,  
I don't want to see you go,  
The sky is over  
Even though we can't afford  
The sky is over,  
I don't want to see you go,  
The sky is over  
Even though we can't afford  
The sky is over,  
I don't want to see you go,  
The sky is over  
Even though we can't afford  
The sky is over,  
The sky is over us.

-Serj Tankian : Sky Is Over-


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Roman was the first one to regain consciousness. And for a few seconds he couldn't remember where he was. He opened his eyes and gazed up. The night sky greeted him back, clear and full of bright stars. The moon had moved across the sky and was no longer visible. That meant it was later than he thought.

His hands were wet. His fingers curled around something cold and liquid.

' _Snow'_

Then everything came back, hitting him like a freight train.

A jolt of electricity hit him and sat up faster than he should have. Dizziness overtook once more. The wound from hit he had taken on the head was still fresh. He looked around him and saw Dean and Seth lying right next to him.

Seth was stirring, moaning as his ears were still ringing from the loud blast.

But Dean was out of it.

His body was not moving. His face was still whiter than the snow and those lips were bluer than the morning sky.

His eyes… those eyes, he loved so much were closed and so very still.

"Dean?" Roman shook him and took him in his arms.

Seth sat up alarmed, only now remembering what had taken place. He approached Dean and placed his ear on his chest.

"Does he have a heart beat?"

He held his breath in anticipation. Seth held his own too. Dean felt so cold. He even closed his eyes in concentration.

Nothing.

"I… I can't hear anything…" he said but still tried to listen.

"No!" the desperation rose to his throat and held him closer. He leaned over his face and their cheeks touched.

He gasped when he felt the coldness of his skin against his own.

He shook him and pleaded him to wake up.

It was Seth who decided to take action and began CPR. It was something he had learned when he was very young and had never used it since the day he had learned it. He was surprised of much he still remembered. Quickly, they managed to put Dean into position. Seth would do the CPR on the chest, while Roman would blow air from the mouth keeping the nose closed.

The eerie forest silence seemed to drown Seth's counting. The pushes against the frozen chest seemed futile, as were the exhalations of air into Dean's lungs.

"Come on Dean" Seth mumbled between pushes. "Come on…"

Each breath Roman exhaled felt colder.

Each breath brought him closer to breaking down

Each breath felt like death.

He couldn't really tell how long they had been doing it. It could have been a few minutes or hours. The truth was that after a while Seth was exhausted and doubting whether he was doing the CPR right. His breaths had become loud groans and his arms were numb.

He looked at Roman.

And he looked back.

His eyes were so sad. He held Dean's head in his hands, while tears streamed freely down his face. Seth went to start CPR again but Roman stopped him.

"Stop…" his voice was broken.

"No… we have to keep trying"

One push.

"Stop…"

Two.

"Please"

Three.

"No"

No breath.

No sound.

Just silence.

Seth looked back up at Dean.

He looked so serene; so peaceful; like he was sleeping. His hands looked like they were made of ice; smooth and glistening, lying limp next to his breathless body. The wound was no longer opened. The blood had been frozen on his body forming a macabre river of icy blood.

Roman kept caressing his face. Sweat and snow had matted his hair and he was pushing it out of the way.

"He is gone" he whispered.

It was then the sobs came.

Seth didn't know what to do. He felt like all this had been for nothing. He didn't even realize he was crying himself. He didn't realize his palms were clenched into fists; nails that were digging into his skin, drawing blood. He wanted to console his friend but he found it impossible to disturb him.

So he sat back and waited.

Roman lowered his head and whispered to Dean, between sobs.

"I'm sorry… I never wanted it to end this way… there's so many things I wanted to say… so many things I wanted to do… and I never had the chance… and it's my fault. I was too blind to see it when we had time… and now it has run out… we are out of time… and I'm sorry…"

He leaned closer still.

"I love you" he breathed holding back the tears. "I will always love you. Till the day I die… maybe even after that…"

And he kissed him.

It was ironic this was their first and last kiss. And sadder was the fact that it was Dean who had had feelings for him in the first place. It was Dean who had kept everything inside because he didn't want to mess up Roman's family. The same man who now lay breathless, cradled in his arms.

It seems like they were always out of time. Like their lives were filled with regret and pain. He knew he should feel grateful for having all this time with him, but he couldn't help but feel heartbroken and angry. He felt like his life was over.

He just had to keep breathing till real death came for him one day.

Wait till he too would close his eyes forever.

Dean's lips were unsurprisingly cold. There were not frozen yet; they were soft. Roman pressed them softly with his own, tasting them for the first and last time, forcing his mind to remember how they felt; how they tasted; carve them into his memory forever.

He had taken Dean's hand I his own while the other one caressed his hair.

"I love you" he broke the kiss "forever".

Seth came next to him and put his hand on his shoulder, in silent support.

On the horizon, the sun was rising. The sky began to lose its blackness and the stars vanished one by one. The first sunray started its travel from the east, marking its path through the trees, into the clearing and onto the broken men.

They would have welcomed the warmth it offered had it not been for their loss.

The orange hue it cast upon the fallen body made it look alive again.

' _If only'_

"I love you"

Seth blinked a few times.

' _Wait'_

It took a few seconds to realize what he had just seen.

"Roman!" he nudged harder than he meant to. "Look!" and pointed at Dean's chest.

It was moving.

He was breathing.

"Dean?" Roman realized too that he felt warmer to his touch. He had thought at first that it was the sun, but he was wrong.

There it was. The unmistakable sign of breathing.

Fingers moved and wrapped around the Samoan's.

Seth and Roman held their breath. It felt like a dream; like the stuff they made in films and fairy tales. They were afraid it would end; they would wake up and Dean would still be dead.

But they weren't dreaming.

Dean opened his eyes tiredly and looked at him.

He could see him, finally.

So clearly.

"I… see you… finally…" The bleeding man was gone; forever. He had balanced himself out, along with Abigail and Drew. He lifted his hand up and touched the face above him. The first tear run down and fell on the snow.

Relief.

A tearful, happy, laughter escaped Roman's lips and squeezed the hand back.

"How?" Seth came close and held Dean's other hand. "You were dead!"

"It… was… you…" he looked at Roman "you… brought me back" his voice was rough, barely above a whisper but his eyes were shining so bright.

They were so alive.

"But how?"

"I don't know…" he shivered. "Will you take me out of here?"

. . .

THREE MONTHS LATER

The snow had melted only a couple of days ago. The earth was still wet and the leaves had yet to start turning green. It would still take a few days before spring would take a hold of nature and really warm the ground.

The sun had risen an hour ago and the sunrays cut through the trees from the east, like sharpened sword. Humidity drops cling from the edges of braches and leaves, hanging on the tips in what seemed like forever before falling soundlessly. The last traces of mist evaporated and for a few precious minutes the forest looked like it was on fire.

He sat on the porch, alone, taking in the warmth and the breathtaking view. He didn't mind the cold. Ever since that night, it didn't bother him much. He felt it, but his body could tolerate it. He knew their time here was ending. In a few weeks the cabin owners would come to prepare for the summer season, and that meant they would have to leave as soon as possible.

' _Pity'_ he thought. He really liked it here. He would miss it. Despite the early bad memories, everything after that was hard, but he was there with him all the way; beside him; supporting him and loving him. The hard part was accepting the fact that maybe he would never get his older memories back. But maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all. Roman had told him everything.

Everything.

Maybe it was a good thing he didn't remember. Maybe this was a chance to start fresh, a new life.

A quiet one.

But maybe those forgotten times where part of whom he was; part of the man Roman had fell in love with. And now that he didn't have them, maybe he wouldn't be a man he could love any more.

"I can hear you thinking all the way to the kitchen"

Roman walked outside and sat beside him on the porch steps. Dean didn't avert his eyes from the forest.

"Why all the sadness?"

He lifted his shoulders. He wasn't a man of a lot of words. He wondered if he had always been like that. Roman wrapped his arm around his shoulders and brought him closer, kissing the top of his head.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he tried again.

"What are we going to do?"

"With what?"

"Police"

"Seth has been in contact with a lawyer back home. He said that as long as you testify that it was not a kidnapping, we should be cleared from all charges. We have to go the police however… and you will probably have to go through a psychological evaluation…"

Dean stiffened.

"Hey…" he turned his face with his fingers "We have already talked about this… we can't keep running"

"I know…"

"It's going to be hard for a while, but we have been through worse… don't despair."

"I can't go back to the hospital" his voice got lost speaking the last word.

"She is gone. He is gone too. No one is going to hurt us. It's all over"

Dean shook his head and kept his eyes on the horizon and for a while they didn't speak. They didn't have to. They had said all they needed to say in the past three months. Instead they sat in silence, side by side, their fingers interlocked.

Seth walked out of the cabin and joined them on the steps.

"I just spoke to the lawyer"

Roman and Dean looked at him in anticipation.

"He's going to meet us in two days at the precinct."

"What are we looking at?"

Seth smiled wide.

"He said he is pretty sure we are looking at zero time"

"Are you serious?" Roman smiled too.

"Yes! He said they are going to drop the charges."

"How is that possible?" Dean was perplexed.

"Check it out… the doc never submitted his report on Dean!"

Both raised their eyebrows.

"As far as law goes, Dean was illegally held in the psych ward. There is no medical report stating that he needed to be committed."

Dean sighed in relief and lay down on the wooden boards.

"How did we get so lucky?" Roman asked.

"I don't know man…"

"I do" Dean said without sitting up. He had the attention of both men. "It's the balance"

"I don't follow" Seth couldn't understand.

"I think it away to set things right. We destroyed Abigail. I believe it's like a thank you gesture…"

Seth turned his gaze to the horizon. The mist had already evaporated and he had missed the spectacle.

' _Maybe next time'_

"I'm going to start packing. We have a long drive ahead" and left.

Roman looked at Dean. He lay down beside him on the porch. He was rubbing his chest where the arrow had pierced his flesh. The wound had left a nasty scar and he had no doubt it would never stop being painful.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes"

"Is there anything can do?"

Dean turned and looked at him.

"Kiss me"

They needed no more words. They simply needed each other. Roman leaned and kissed him. He would never have enough of those lips. It had taken them so many years, so many sacrifices, so much blood and endless tears, but they had made it to the end.

He lay down beside him again and held his hand.

They stayed like this, in silence and relief.

In happiness.

"I love you"

"I love you"

THE END

. . .

Maybe this time,  
Maybe this time I'll outwit my past  
I'll throw away the numbers, the keys  
And all the cards  
Maybe I can carve out a living in the cold  
At the outskirts of some city  
I extinguish all my recent pasts  
Become another man again  
And have a quiet life  
A quiet life for me  
A quiet life  
A quiet life for me  
A quiet life for someone  
An acquired life for me

I lost, I ran  
I started once anew  
In northern grey, in drizzling rain  
In salted slush and bitter hale  
But the order as always merciless  
It wants to see me fail  
So the hunter is now the hunted  
Past voices call my name  
I renounce my past to live again  
A quiet life  
A quiet life  
A quiet life for me  
A quiet life for someone  
An acquired life for me

I thought I have been given  
Another chance again  
But heaven lies as usual  
I repented but in vain  
It tries to cheat me out of my good aim  
Take away what I never really got  
My quiet life  
No quiet life for me  
No quiet life  
No quiet life for me  
A quiet life for someone  
No quiet life for me

-Teho Teardo & Blixa Bargeld:A Quiet Life- . . .

This is the end of this story. I would like to thank all of you who read and reviewed it. It really means a lot to me. I hope you liked it.

Until next time.

Peace


End file.
